Hey wassup my dudes. I have two pre cool guys to be critiqued. Dont assume they r dating or anything. But they are in tje same friend group. Mk thankssssss
www.notebook.ai/plan/characters/708003 Leo
www.notebook.ai/plan/characters/707478. Trent
Leo:
- Mmmmmm be careful using the word 'kinky' to describe hair, maybe blogs I've seen that talk about writing African characters say that's not the best word choice
- Same with using food words, such as coffee or chocolate to describe skin tone. Many people advise against that.
- I love the Canada bracelet lol!
- Being laid back isn't a flaw, unless it seriously impedes a situation.
- I've never read anything with a lifestyle influencer as a character, that's a cool concept!
- In general work on the spelling and grammar in the profile, it was hard to follow at times.
Trent:
- Good job describing his hair length/style, that's always hard for me
- Besides just saying caucasian, add his home country there. Is he Canadian like Leo? Is he a friend visiting from the US or the UK?
- Where'd he get his scar from?
- What a person orders as their coffee doesn't give away much about their personality, at least not enough for him to make informed guesses on it. Trust me, I worked in a restaurant all summer and a person's choice of pizza didn't cue me in to their personality. The way they ordered did.
- Is he from Austrailia?
- Again, the grammar and spelling need revision.
They seem like interesting characters, if a bit barebones, with a fun plot!
