forum Character Critique, please
Started by @AJ
tune

people_alt 8 followers

@AJ

This is the catalyst character for a graphic novel I'm currently writing. She's in no way a good person, but I want her to be likable. If someone could look over her information and tell me what they think, that would be excellent!

@Mish

The character is currently on private, if you could make your character public, I'd be more than willing to critique her! (If you don't know how, go into your character tab, click the blue pencil–the edit button–that shows up when you hover over your character's name. After that, find and click on the "V" button with three dots on each point. Slide the switch from private to public, and then save. ^-^ If you already know how then just ignore this. :P)

@Mish

Okay! So, this is late, but I do like this character. She has unique character quirks and an interesting personality. A few little bits that I think need fixing are:

"legal trouble in 6th and 7th." Did you mean "illegal" trouble?
You say she's "Funny, good at making people laugh" but she's also "Self absorbed to the point of being selfish." Wouldn't a self-absorbed person not even care about trying to make people laugh? Or does she do it to bring attention to herself? Is her ability to make people laugh just a natural thing?

A major question I have is: How do other people at the reformatory view her?
I'm a bit confused as to how her personality influences her relations with the people around her. By the looks of it, it seems like most people would dislike her, given that she doesn't care about them, but yet she has the talents of being a good speaker, someone who can make others laugh, and is a deceiver. This in and of itself is a bit confusing.

A smaller question I have is about her piercings. As far as home-made piercings go, I'm pretty sure there's a rather high chance of infection from such piercings. (This isn't to say that all home-made piercings get infected–I'm sure some don't–I was just speculating a bit.) Does she have any failed/infected piercings? (This question is actually just a random thought I had and doesn't really need to be addressed if you don't want to/haven't thought about it.)

My last question is this: What do you mean by "catalyst" in her "role" description?

Other than that, I think I'm done! Thank you for letting me take a look at your character. I hope this helps you. ^-^

@AJ

Thanks for reviewing my character! To answer a few of your critiques:

-Heh… yeah, I meant illegal trouble. Stuff like stealing and vandalism.
-You make a good point about the making people laugh thing. What I meant to write was that she's funny, but often she doesn't realize that she's making people laugh. She's funny because she can't help it, if that makes sense.
-The thing about Jane is this: At first, you're weirded out by her. Then you gradually warm up to her. Then she lets you take the fall for whatever plan of hers just failed. As she's already been at the reformatory for a few months, most people have caught on by now. She's not very popular, to say the least.
-Yeah, I should probably go into a bit more detail about her piercings. Most likely she's got some scars from her first few attempts.

And as for your question about her being a catalyst, I mentioned that in there as more of a note for myself. You see, while a lot of the story centers around Jane, she is not the POV character. However, she IS the one who sets the plot in motion; ergo, the catalyst.

Again, thanks for the feedback!