forum character critique, please?
Started by @WriteOutofTime
tune

people_alt 45 followers

@WriteOutofTime

heyo! I just rewrote this kid because I hated the story he was in, but I thought he'd flourish elsewhere. Please tell me what you think! Be as cruel as you like, he needs help.
Daso: Daso Argen

Jilla

I like your character, and I'm a Marvel fan, so I have a soft spot for any superheroes.

I love the physical description, so that's great, however, you talk about his slight PTSD and ADHD, and I'm confused to when this was officially diagnosed. His old family seemed like they wouldn't really put him in therapy, and if they did, you should definitely put that in! I'd like to know if he was, in fact, actually diagnosed at all.

Now that he's in the regiment, if he still has these problems, maybe consider putting this poor boyo in therapy.! ADHD and PTSD can be hard for a high school kid, and while he seems fairly put together for what he's been through, counseling would without a doubt help him.

Besides that, I think this character can go far and just remember to give him a good character arc as well! I honestly love the story idea and his background and mannerisms were very well done! Keep up the good work! :)

@WriteOutofTime

Thank you! I hadn't even thought of that, but I think I have like two potential explanations:
1) His sister's ability is super intelligence. She's now a doctor. Maybe she unofficially diagnosed him, and then he got properly diagnosed after they ran away.
2) He unofficially diagnosed himself, and then got it confirmed later.
Thank you for making me consider this!! And yep, don't worry, therapy is definitely in his character arc. Do you have any suggestions for a character arc for him though? I feel like I could take him so many directions and I'm not sure which to settle on.

Jilla

You could definitely help his conditions improve as a result of his character arc, but whatever you do, remember that with a character arc there has to be cause and effect. WHY does he change? WHAT makes him change as a character? You know?

Write on!!