forum Character Critique
Started by @IconicUsername
tune

people_alt 3 followers

@kirailove

what is the context that this character will be in? It seems she is a superhero? Could I get some more info?

@IconicUsername

I can't give you too much because the simple fact of spoilers. Audrey is not superhero, she's simply learning to be one at a superhero academy in the Caribbean islands.

@Raziel Gallephraya

oooo I like critiquing I'll just go for it I suppose first off, there are a lot of different coloured coffee beans and while that's a cute description it doesn't get too specific. under the mannerisms, you could put down some physical mannerisms associated with nervousness and excitement and other emotions, the motivations are super relateable tbh but if she's going to be the main character you want something for her to fight for to really make her an interesting character and bring out the different dimensions of her personality and how far she'd be willing to go for a cause. also under the personality type, I do know what you're referencing but a lot of people probably wouldn't understand that so elaborating on that would be nice for other people who don't know of the 16 test. I too love pizza and ice cream they ARE amazing. for the birthday adding the year of birth would put the time zone into perspective for the story (if it's modern day imagine seeing it a year from now and being like oh she's fourteen that was fourteen years ago but it would have been fifteen years ago in a year but anyways yeah it'll be confusing if you don't update it within a year whoops) don't be afraid to add more to the background or in notes!!!! knowing more about characters really helps!!!!! having a solid background helps you build your characters up!!!!!!! there's even a private notes section where you can add stuff you don't want other people to see but you'll have it so you don't have to keep it all in your head and you'll have a solid reference to base your characters off of!!!!! anyways I hope I helped in some way or another, she has the potential to be an amazing character don't be afraid to experiment with her too!!

@IconicUsername

Separating this into points because there's a lot to cover in that paragraph:

1) The point was to emphasize she's black. Her exact shade is irrelevant.
2) A Mannerism is "a habitual gesture or way of speaking or behaving; an idiosyncrasy." Everything in there are mannerisms, though you're right, I could add more "physical" mannerisms.
3) I don't get what you mean. As a beginning character, the point was to establish she currently has no motivations. Those are to be built up.
4) I'll expand more on the personality type, though I assumed that's what it was asking
5) I personally don't want to add the year for a disclosed reason but thank you

Overall, thanks for the criticism. I'll try to implement it.