forum character critique?

Started February 17, 2018 by @dearplaydate

tune

Just wanting some help with a character, I'm very new at this.

Here's the link to my character! I would very much appreciate any critique, I'm new at this and want to be sucessful at writing good characters and good stories.

I’ll help! Just give me a minute! 😁

Here’s what I’ve got! (Don’t take any offense from this, cuz I just wanna help you.)

So first of all she is a tad underweight. The average weight for a person 5’ 1” is 100-131. I didn’t see you mention that she was underweight but if it’s there I might have missed it.
I also like how you said her race is wizard XD.

Based on her characteristics, it doesn’t seem like she would be put into the Ravenclaw house. If that’s your favorite house, there’s no hate. It’s just that she SEEMS like more of a Slytherin. You haven’t portrayed her as a Ravenclaw so if you really wanted he to be in that house, you could maybe add a bit of reason showing that she was chosen to be in Ravenclaw and why.

Do you need help thinking of a name for an owl? Here are some names: Nova, Lightning, Dragonfly, Hazel, and Jinx.

That’s all I could think of, but maybe you would like to add a bit of backstory to her Hogwarts letter. When did she get it? How did she know that she was a wizard? Other things like that could be answered showing reason behind her life.

I hope this helped!

@Paxi_The_Penguin Thank you so much! I just based her weight off of mine, I'll add in that she's underweight.

How can I portray that she is more of a Ravenclaw? I'm not familiar with any characteristics other than being "smart".

You can portray that she's a Ravenclaw more by giving her a love for learning, and seeing magic as an art. You can also make her intelligent and witty, as those are common characteristics. Don't be afraid of giving her characteristics that are associated with other houses too (ex: Neville had a lot of Hufflepuff traits, Hermione also had Ravenclaw traits), but remember to tie it all up further along her timeline so that it makes sense that she's supposed to be in Ravenclaw (Ex: Neville slowly turned into someone freaking awesome and super brave and pretty reckless, so he started to fit the traits of Gryffindor). Lastly, remember that the sorting hat chooses on how well the person will do in the house, it thought Harry would do really good in slytherin, but it also thought he would to great in Gryffindor.

I hope this helped you some, good luck!