forum Character Critique?

Started September 25, 2018 by Deleted user

tune

Just looking for some Critique on the character I've made.

I'll take a look

Looks-
Okay this is actually pretty good I was about to say the weight is a bit off (bc I myself am a 17 year old female) but then it said she's a big tol 6'1 child and I'm 5'2 so our weights are p r o b a b l y going to be different.

Nature-
The 16 Personalities is a good basis to work with! However, I think it could still be effective to go in depth with her personality. Maybe there's a few quirks or other things that apply to her that don't necessarily apply to INTP's. (Plus it feels good to have a paragraph or two in the personality section :') )
Also, does she have any productive hobbies? (not saying that contemplating existence isn't productive, but philosophy might lead to research and writing, which can also be hobbies). (Also talking to plants is v productive uwu)
Those are some gr8 talents lmaO but she could do with a few more!
Wow that's quite a logical prejudice. Does she react coldly to someone with suicidal thoughts? Or does she try to help them through it?
This flaw could be summarized with "issues of self love". She might be able to do with a bit more flaws too, but I like how being a loner fits with her preference of nature over people!
With no motivations, Victoria falls down a slippery slope of having no reason to live. This is also a slippery slope to suicide, which contradicts her prejudice.
Maybe a few more mannerisms, too! Like twiddling thumbs, or simple conversational habits. Does her voice rise in pitch when she's excited? Does she play with her hair? Etc.

Social-
My favorite cheat sheet with favorites is including why each thing is their favorite. It adds a bit more depth that might not have been covered anywhere else.
How long has she been a cook? Does she enjoy cooking? Does she enjoy studying?
Having a political stance could actually help develop how she handles situations or reacts to events.
If she's not religious, she might be agnostic. (Also, for more background, ask why she's not religious heheh)

History-
This all looks pretty good too, though it might help to go more in depth with the background. Where are her real parents? Why did they leave her?

Anyway she sounds great good luck my dude

Thanks for the feed back, yea this is my first time trying anything with writing and all this.

Oh haha I just realized I have been referring to her as a Nymph and not the Dryad. Slight mistake. ._.

Appearance: Not bad, but you could always go more in depth so readers could picture her better. You say she's skinny. Is she curvy? Stick straight? A little more heavy on top or in the legs? Hourglass figure? Also based on "skinny," her weight should probably be in the 160-170 lbs range, because those are normal for her height, but on the slightly lower end. 180 lbs is also normal, but middle-high end of normal. For hair, a specific shade of green would be nice to know, and you say ponytail, but what kind of length does her hair have?
Personality: Like @Aloe Vera said, MBTI types are a good place to start, but even though you seem to have edited it some, it's still all based around her MBTI type. Formatting the traits section is all up to personal preference, but I find the best, most thorough way to do it is like this: MBTI type, moral alignment, list of traits with about a sentence or two of explanation each (so traits like perceptive, loyal, skittish, plus an explanation of how they come into play, if that makes sense). She could also do with another flaw or two. You may not have the answer to that now, but that's okay. I believe you said you're pretty much just starting out with this story, and sometimes flaws and certain personality traits are things you figure out with time.
Social: You were very thorough on this tab. I'm assuming you followed the earlier critiques, and it looks great! (I may even try using those tips on my profiles now.) Only thing is religion. What do you mean "slightly agnostic?" Agnostic is being nonreligious, typically with the belief that there could be a higher power, but we can't really ever hope to know for sure. So is she agnostic, or more questioning? I can probably answer questions about that if you have any.
Background: Also looks good. Maybe include what the education part means? Like an equivalent to school in real life (is it equivalent to completing high school? Is she about the equivalent of a 10th grader? etc).
Sorry if I seem nit-picky! It all looks great. Just time to refine things a bit.

Man I thought creating a character was easy. Dang. I'll take this all into consideration and take time to fix the character up and be more specific.

Thanks for all the criticism though. It helps

(Actually grabbed a notebook and wrote all your criticisms down so I could improve tomorrow, currently 10PM where I am and I would rather sleep and be able to cognitively think than to fix it and then something come up and me being me, be lazy and not doing anything and forget about it.)

Oh man yeah I totally understand that! When I first got notebook and started asking for critiques, my first instinct was to retaliate and defend myself. Now I've learned to be like "Wow, they're right,,,I'll go adjust that now." And it got easier. I then proceeded to show a friend of mine that I knew would know how to really critique a character in depth, and he delivered. Since then I've still got screenshots of his critique because I've been too afraid to tackle what he addressed. He called out cliches, contradictions, and other aspects of my character that I actually wanted to keep, but had to give up or alter in order for a more believable character. That's why I struggle with being attached to certain aspects of my character, because I have to let go of certain personality traits if I want him to be more real or even enjoyable to read. Either way, I wish the best of luck to your character creating journey!

Yes to all of that. I’ve only put two of my characters out for critique so far because I’m afraid of this. But also, keep in mind that most of my critiques in particular were what you can add. You’re off to a solid start as far as your character is not cliche or a Mary Sue. I never critique those types of characters because I’m afraid of backlash.
I’m glad to try being of help to you, and of course, if you want to run your edits by us again, I’d be happy to help.

I agree, I'd love to see how Victoria develops!

Thank you guys! Yea I was bit afraid of throwing Victoria out here because in my head it was gonna be like “your character is trash.” Or something along those lines.

The good thing about this site is that I don’t think anyone is like that. People are usually good about giving constructive responses here.

Yea I kinda just ran into this website and had no idea there was a community and when I did find out I was very sketched out by it i was like hmmm. They could be nice or they could be toxic. I am glad this community isn't toxic really. so. Woo.

Ahaha yeah, I'm not too heavily involved in the community, I just enjoy giving critiques and asking for critiques, which is a good exercise of healthy socialization and getting your characters out there. I enjoy roleplaying too because it practices writing with your character, but I mostly role play with one specific friend. Either way, I am very glad that this community is pretty great for the most part!

I am too. It's a great site with good people.

I mean, occasionally, we get some sketchy people on here, but for the most part, it's all good. Have you tried RPing yet, or do you plan to?

I LOVE CRITIQUING STUFF SO I HOPE U DONT MIND IF I JUST SLIDE ON IN HERE even though i don't think im gonna find much cause it seems like most folk already covered the important bits

body type/skin tone - heck yea u used good descriptors. most people keep body type very minimal so im glad to see a bit of extra in there

personality type - a lil nitpick from me but you could rearrange how you say things to make it less wordy; less is more in many cases. im glad to see paragraphs tho thats very important to me

prejudice - prejudice is normally a preconceived notion (usually racist/sexist/etc) that doesnt make much sense; instead of "Hates it when people think suicide is the way out." try "thinks suicidal people are broken, and seeks to fix them."

flaws - i like the cause/effect you got going on

yeah everyone covered most of what i would have nitpicked on rip

Haha thanks for sliding in though. I just went through with all this and updated her character, and sorry for being a little too sorry but I did just go and look back at it and go "uhhh." But I'll definitely try and make it less wordy. Also I didn't realize I did that with the prejudice, I will go fix that.

i'm really picky about wording so its not necessarily a Bad Thing that you write in a certain way; if you want advice on how to reword something so that what you want to say it clearer, just let me know.

prejudice is a really hard category and personally i don't like it very much because most people misconstrue its meaning so in every criticism i give, i always have something to say about the prejudice category lmao

Haha well I guess that's just gonna happen huh.

Well I updated that prejudice on her.

Gotta say that this has been eye opening. I didn't realize how in depth I need to make a character (guess that's just because I just started but I am not gonna use that as an excuse.)

it's all a matter of experience anyway
ive been writing for 14 years so ive got lots of experience
you'll find it gets easier as time goes on and you find resources

Well that is good to know.

Welp. Time to go fix the rest of the 11 characters I've made ._.

Ahaha good luck! I've got uhhhhhhhhh 24 characters I believe,,, but nine of those guys are my main characters; the rest are background characters which are veerrry underdeveloped (Some of them just have a name and a face :') )