forum Character Critique

Started January 16, 2018 by Megan Larsen

tune

So I've seen this work well for other people, could I get some feedback for this character? I'm not sure she's realistic…

Hi! These are the absolute best, so let me see what I can do… Top down…

Okay, so for starts, looks are fine. Personality is GREAT. Prejudices are awesome, talents and hobbies work perfectly, motivations fit with her personality, etc.

Backstory–I LOVE it. You seem to have just about everything explained in here. I think it's super realistic how you have her turn to drugs. Honestly, everything about her seems fine. I just have one complaint: her name. When I read 'Cahira,' I immediately though fantasy, steampunk, scifi. Unless I'm wrong, this seems to be set in present day. It is a real name, but when paired with the surname it has a very fantasy ring to it. I like the name, and if you're super attached to it, I would add a normal middle name–Mary, Marie, something boring, just to sorta bring it all back.

Wow. That's not a lot. You definitely did a great job on this character. I can understand where she's coming from, and all of the bad things that happened to her are actually very realistic, something that is hard to do.

Welp, I hope my one lil critique helps you!! :DD

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it!

Hey. Um…Would either one of you be willing to help me out? I just started on here and I was wondering if you'd be willing to check out my characters so far? It's totally ok if you don't want to. I just would like a little feed back. Megan, could you and I do a sort of thing where I look at your characters and you look at mine?

Hi!
Okay, so I read through Cahira's character profile and I think she's interesting, but I've seen many characters like this before.

She's smart, most likely very witty, spicy, and closed up (I understand it's because of a really tough past), I just don't see how she stands out from other special characters.
When I'm reading about her, I'm thinking, "Oh, okay, that's interesting," but I don't WANT to get to know her. She would be very special and mysterious irl, but in a book world, maybe not so much.
Maybe you can find something about her that makes her more relatable. I totally get her backstory, but you want to normalize her just a bit because irl, most people you see are "normal" but you don't see what's inside. Your book would at first show her more "normal" but as you delve into the story, she's being shown as a human being that has bends and weaknesses just like everyone else.

Also, her name, Cahira. Is there a special meaning behind the name? Perhaps a backstory? The name Cahira makes me think of a fantasy kind of book. If it's not in a fantasy book, it might seem a little odd and too special, do you get what I'm saying?
Look, I LOVE finding names for my characters. I spend so much time on their names, I look through baby names books, I look online, and I compile long lists and slowly narrow them down until I feel it's perfect, but I've realized that if you pick a name that's too special, your character seems unrelatable. You might want a name that people have heard or seen before somewhere, makes the character more real.
Like @CinnamonRoll said, if you really like it, keep it and make something about her name more "normal" (Ugh, I hate the word "normal").

On the other hand, you did an amazing job on making Cahira's backstory flow with her personality and her outlook on life. I can see why she would think a certain thing or act a certain way to someone or an event. Cahira seems very whole, I don't see any loose threads or missing parts as a character.

I hope you get what I'm saying. If any part of what I said is unclear to you, please ask. I want to help you.

It looks great to me, I do agree with the others on the name though. Mabye somthing that is not on the key chains at stores so it is origonal, but not somthing so fanasy sounding. For example, different spellings- Allie, Ali, Alli, and Alie are all all ways to spell Allie. Lnadsay, lindsay, and lindsey, etc.

Very strong character! I'm immediately wanting to know more about her story. Specifically, props to you for making a detailed and interesting backstory that is coherent with her personality and world view. Everything about her looks and social aspects is well detailed. My only minor nip is that her flaw of giving up on people too easily seems slightly inconsistent with her desire to find an unconditional friend. Otherwise, you have an impressive and interesting character deeply rooted in realistic emotions, which makes her very alluring.

Thanks for the feed back, and Rebecca thanks for your honesty, I really appreciate it! Also @JordenMor i'd love to work with you.

You're welcome! Happy to help!

Megan, just send me a Message please.

I like how you've set up your character, but I'm curious as to why you chose Huck Finn as the book her friend gifts to her? It's an incredibly controversial text to casually throw into a story, so I'm curious about whether or not there's a symbolic reasoning.

You say "lithe" and "agile", however, to be "lithe", is to be thin, and graceful, the word "agile", further supports this. But the only problem I have with this character, is that, being 150-ish pounds, at 5'7", is well…

Let's put it this way… I'm a guy, I'm 5'7" too, but I'm 145 lbs, your girl, she's heavier than I am… Now, I have a decent physique for a guy, but a girl, who's heavier than me, at my height, would actually be a bit chubby, since women are naturally more thin and curvy than men. A healthy weight for a woman her height would be 118-120. But that's just my advice, feel free to do as you please, don't let me stifle your creativity…

And please note, there are a few exceptions, so!etimes lean people weigh more than average people because their muscles are denser. Which would make sense since you say "muscular" too!

Other than that… You nailed it.