forum can you please check this character?thanks
Started by @sharkfinn_ey
tune

people_alt 10 followers

@WriteOutofTime

Soft gasp A nonwhite character…so rare on this site…bless…

Okay, ignore that. Actual critique: I like her nickname and the meaning behind it. Very sweet and I can already picture her as a warm person. Her appearance continues to accentuate that. The daisy necklace + yellow eyeshadow? You're giving me a really clear picture of this person. Nice job.

Mannerisms and motivations are pretty good. I like her flaws, but instead of saying an action she does (or rather, doesn't do) like leaving her windows open, say she's neglectful, forgetful, or too trusting (whichever is the reason for leaving the windows open). Her hobbies and personality type are very pure and lovely.

Why does she abandon Christianity? Sometimes it helps to add specifics. it gives further insight into her character.

Her backstory is very bare. Since she doesn't have a tragic backstory, maybe detail her relationship with Frida. I really want to know more about their dynamic. A person doesn't have to have tragedy to have an interesting backstory.

Overall, I LOVE THIS CHARACTER!!! she's so warm. reading about her felt like a hug lol. Thanks for sharing her and good job :D

@sharkfinn_ey

Ahww thank you so much for all the sweet compliments! <3

i am really just figuring out her backstory tbh, but she abandoned Christianity because well she's lesbian and was scared her parents/family wouldn't approve of it. They probably would've, but it's just hard for her to combine faith and well, all the hate that come's from being lbgt+ in a religion family
I'm also working quite hard on her relationship with frida but i don't want to rush things, (i feel like relationships in fiction often feel forced and rushed so yeah).

the focus in the beginning lays more on other characters, so i have more time to figure out all of her past, luckily:)

@sharkfinn_ey

(i also find that there are not enough poc characters too, like they're all white… i would really love to see for example more black or asian culture in YA)

@remarkab.le

I have a small suggestion, I don't have a lot of time so I can't read everything thoroughly right now but above you said she abandoned Christianity because she's lesbian–I have a small thought about that. I don't know what your plot is and I don't know what she tells her family and what happens there. She's 18, you can't drop a religion that quickly (I don't know when she dropped it) but still, I am Christian (Catholic) and I know we are very YOU MUST LEARN AND LOVEEE. I love my religion and I support all things lbgt+ although I feel my dad may get mad at me for supporting it and stuff but…I'm growing up in a different generation so (i don't know when your story takes place) but opinions change with each generation. It's hard to drop a religion, especially when it's what you grew up learning–maybe instead of saying abandoned, say she feels Christianity abandoned her, she still believes but she's not so sure she is accepted anymore, so she is leaving because she no longer feels welcome. but she still believes.

Of course you don't have to take any of this, and you can ask me questions but yea :) just my thoughts on that

@sharkfinn_ey

Well she droppped it when she was 14 (just like i did, i only let her drop it because i know what it's like)

It's just that like the environment she was in wasn't quite friendly and all that, but it's also more like she didn't want to put up with all the dilemma. Also, she wasn't that much of a believer, it didn't have a huge impact on her life. Just like it was with me, she was kind of neutral in it (kids aren't like their parents)

I know a lot of Christian (and other religions!) people are quite neutral/ okay with being lbgt+ nowadays, depending on where you live. A lot of people support it and are like love is the most important thing, and I'm really happy to see it changing to a more positive atmosphere.