forum can you judge my deities?
Started by @RainClouds_Itachi_
tune

people_alt 43 followers

@RainClouds_Itachi_

ok so, in my book, there are personifications of things and concepts, these are the deities.
so far i have: Nothing, Time, Space, Life, Death, Afterlife, Day, Night, Peace, and War
i plan on adding more of course, but these are what i have right now. i just wanna know if they sound interesting and make sense. or if you have any questions, because questions often help me fix things that i don't notice, so yea!
i won't ask for opinions on Nothing right now though, since i want it to be as vague as possible, which i need to figure out how to do in a good way.
anyway, i guess i'll start now-

Time - Time is characterized as wise and patient. since people who have spent more time alive are considered wise, this has been reflected in his personality. he also tends to look very royal without meaning to, this is because people say not to waste time, and since things of value are not to be wasted, he has ended up giving off a very rich vibe. it's also why he tends to wear colors of gold.

Space - since space is seen as mysterious or even scary, most people feel those feelings upon first seeing Space. although, people will admit that he looks very beautiful, again reflecting what he represents. Space is also a player of some sort, and sleeps with anyone who he can. this comes from the fact that people call Space 'the parent of our earth'. he has in fact parented many children because of this.

Life - unlike how most people characterize her in the temples, she is very unlike the childish innocent deity that people believe her to be. she is in fact very mature, to reflect that the longer you live the wiser you become (similar to Time). she's also depressed. this is because of the fact that people say things like 'life is difficult' or 'life doesn't get any easier'. she is weighed down by all the negativity of living, but she doesn't outwardly complain. she knows how beautiful living can be, and she treasures those small moments of positivity.

Death - since dying doesn't usually take long (from dying instantly to a few years at most), Death is characterized as childish. he's a reckless deity that often times accidentally causes trouble. he does his job well enough, but tends to like to mess with the living too much. from hearts stopping for only a minute, to people surviving impossible situations, you can bet it's Death having a blast, from either calling souls to him for a small time, or not at all even when he should. he also doesn't like to work too often, so he hired serial killers to do some of it for him.

Afterlife - the afterlife is a mysterious place beyond the world of the living. because of this, even the other deities can't really see them. the only one who can see Afterlife is Death, and that's only because he must deliver souls to them. the other deities can only ever hear whispers of their voice, or barely see a flash of their robes, but that's about it. some mortals, if they are lucky, can also catch glimpses of Afterlife, but that is usually a sign of Death coming to retrieve someone soon.

Day - Day was the daughter of Life and Space, but decided he felt better as their son. Day is Life's only son, and the oldest of her children. he's a very lively and friendly deity, since people associate that behavior with the sun. also, since people tend to work during the day, Day himself prefers to keep busy, and he always needs to do something. because of his friendliness, he likes to live among the people, and so he named himself Dagiia, so the mortals would have a normal name to call him by.

Night - Night is the daughter of Death and Space, and the oldest among Death's children, who knows where she's at among Space's children though. because of how quiet the night is, Night tends to stick to the quieter side herself. she also comes off as sleepy, due to the fact that most people sleep at night. but no matter how tired she may seem, she's always prepared to lash out, because of the fact that there are nocturnal creatures that lurk in the dark. she, much like Day, liked to live among the people. she named herself Natt, and eventually married the king of Vraekar kingdom, Zavis.

Peace - unlike the other deity children mentioned, Peace is not even aware of her status as a deity. she is Life's daughter, with no father, and she's the oldest of the unaware children. Peace's name is Carmen, and she's an avian-human. she has the wings of a dove. as a result of being peace, she hates conflict and war, although she is participating in a war. she also cannot bring herself to hold a grudge, the proof of that being she does not hate the woman who got her husband and two toddler sons killed. but she misses them dearly.

War - War, like Peace, is also unaware of his status as a deity. he had gone by the name Tatius, but switched to being Tenebris after he faked his death. he's Death's son with no mother, but he does have a little sister named Claudia. both him and his sister are avian-humans, him having crow wings, and Claudia having raven wings. as the personification of war, he's depressed and often suffers from ptsd-like symptoms, even before he had joined a war. Tatius hates with a burning passion, but he also fears very intensely. he's characterized as an unstable ball of emotions and instincts because of the nature of what war is. before he had faked his death, he was on the same squad as Carmen in the war.

so that's what i have so far! please judge my deities !!

@Kaloobia

If I may?

Time: Haha the whole concept "time is money" is clearly reflected here, love that. Wise, patient and rich are all good and well, but I'm curious if this patient quality might interfere with efficiency? Since as a society we frown upon "wasting time", is Time someone who wants things done quickly, or does things quickly? It's possible to strike up a balance between patience and quickness, but tough.

Space: Pffff I see the reason behind promiscuity, but equating parenting/having many children with promiscuity may be a bit of a stretch? I'm reminded of Zeus haha, who I have ZERO respect for because of his tendency to sleep with anything that moves, and I think it's worth thinking about whether people respect Space, despite their flirtatious tendencies: what else characterizes him, what makes him strong or regal aside from the fact that he Is Space? All I'm getting so far is "pretty and horny" haha.

Life: LOVE HER, I love your spin on her, it's important to hold on to the good things in life when you are dragged down by negativity, so that fact that you struck a balance there is thumbs up

Death: Holy shit, again, LOVE your characterization of him. Nothing to say here really, except that you need to decide whether Death is going to evolve at all from his immaturity: having a static character that is that flawed may grate on a reader's nerves.

Afterlife: Interesting idea, but I would say be careful to not have Afterlife's character, or identity, depend too heavily on Death, since he's the only one who sees them. I'm curious what their relationship is like, and it would be an interesting (albeit unhealthy) codependency to explore on Afterlife's end, who may be starved for affection, or simply lonely. They don't really have a lot of personal traits as of right now, other than their lack of presence.

Day: He's precious, and would be a great candidate for diplomatic relations between humans and deities haha.

Night: I like her, but it's interesting that you signal that she's introverted and prone to lashing out ( I assume at other people, perhaps if they get on her nerves ), yet she likes to live among people for some reason? Might be something to add detail to.

Peace: a very sad predicament, to not be able to hold grudges or confront those who've hurt you so badly: I imagine this would result in another form of negativity/resentment, perhaps self-loathing, something that is aimed inward, as Peace seems unable to lash out. Something to develop further.

War: I'm very happy that you didn't write him as a power-hungry and cruel and blood-thirsty tyrant, because that is often how people qualify other personifications of war, like Ares haha. This version is much more interesting, and creates more relatability with the reader.

All in all very nice, and I'm especially curious on how you choose to develop their relationships among them, as well as how they fit into your story and with humans. Good luck, and I hope this was helpful!

@RainClouds_Itachi_

squee ! thank you for the feedback !!! sorry i disappeared and wasn't able to respond-
but yea, i have more to add, and also some more explaining to do now
(which is why it's a good thing you asked questions and made me realize i gotta explain better!!)

Time: you have very good points about the patience thing, i do have a bit of a balance between patience and efficiency, but i don't know if it's good is the problem. Time is patient when it comes to people, or situations where it is needed. but he can get easily annoyed if someone is late when they agreed on a specific time, and he likes to get things done quickly.

Space: to be fair, i didn't elaborate on him enough, but i hope he isn't too much like zeus dear lord- so yes, he is a bit of a player (and a little shit) but this is mostly due to him wanting as many children as possible. i should have explained that better. so, while he does sleep with just about anyone, he is in fact a very good parent, who likes to spoil his kids. when he knows if they're his kid or not i mean.

Life: !!! thank you!! i'm glad you like her!! she was one of my first deities and i'm most proud of her honestly. Life loves you too <3

Death: i'm glad you like the boy !!! he is a very good boy! and don't worry, i tried to make sure he wasn't too childish, although i don't know if it'll work out. he does in fact have his serious moments, when he appears as the Death that people fear, the fear of not knowing what happens after and all that. although, he actually prefers to appear as the more childish version of himself, since he doesn't want to acknowledge the fact that people fear him. again, idk if this is a good way of going about it though.

Afterlife: i explained Afterlife too vaguely sorry- but then again, i wanted them to be very vague. they are not lonely, don't worry, they in fact don't mind it. they are not completely alone after all, since all the dead roam their realm they have plenty of company. they do like Death, but that may be because he brings them new friends all the time. they only thing i think they rely on Death for, is communication with the other deities. other than that, they don't care.

Day: yes, he is a very good boy. i'm actually debating on making him the king of Enyth kingdom, since Night is the Queen of Vraekar, and it would be fun to have them be rulers of kingdoms that are the opposite of each other.

Night: again, this is my fault for not explaining well enough- (i should really get better at explaining things, huh?) yes, she is very introverted, but she likes to be among people. that doesn't mean she usually interacts with them however, she prefers to watch them live their lives from a distance, like people watching basically. she tries to keep her interactions to a minimum. she does have a habit of lashing out, which is also part of why she keeps her distance. luckily she's not lonely since Zavis is with her.

Peace: GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE. i'd actually considered the idea that her hate and negativity be directed inwards, but wasn't sure if that would fit. but considering that you think it's a pretty good idea, i think i'll have that be the case.

War: i'm glad you like him! i was a little nervous about this interpretation, but i was very excited for feedback!! i wanted him to show the effects of war on people, rather than him wanting war. he's already one of my favorites, so i'm very happy that you like how i've made him!

overall, thank you for the feedback !!! this was very helpful, and it made me feel really happy!!

@Kaloobia

Hey, thanks for elaborating! I actually have some follow-up to go with it haha, if that's okay? ^^

Time: ok I understand better, yes, it's actually quite realistic that someone would be patient about certain things and then just SNAP immediately when it came to others. It doesn't necessarily signal hypocrisy, though I do think that's a very interesting flaw to have in a character. Just putting that out there!

Space: Interesting, why does he want so many children?? Is he concerned about things like his legacy, or passing down his power and influence, and "having many soldiers spread across the kingdom", so to speak? Or is it something more genuine, like the way some people just want bigger families, that feeling of community and closeness and comfortable crowded-ness? Does Space perhaps miss having his siblings and parents around? Some points to maybe question further, I think they could really ground Space's character.
Also, what makes him a good parent, besides spoiling his kids (which can have very adverse effects haha)? And it's interesting what you say about him "knowing" whether the kid is his or not, is he not a fan of adoption? Does he believe int he whole "blood is thicker than water"? Or is it, once again, a hereditary power thing?

Life: Ah!! Thank you Life!! <3

Death: Sounds good! Definitely elaborate on the "doesn't want to be reminded that he's feared", it signals a loneliness of it's own genre, that perhaps causes Death to act out immaturely the way he does, maybe searching for a sort of attention that isn't correlated with his more negative aspects, or rather those negative aspects that he can't help: at least he can control his immaturity, and it's something of his own doing.

Afterlife: Ok also sounds good, Afterlife is comfortably alone (how relatable haha).

Day: Ooh that's an interesting idea, yeah! I love opposing imagery haha, the deeper it goes the better :)

Night: Haha don't worry, I have a tendency to go off on tangents and over-explain, so we're two sides of the a coin ;) All this makes sense, thanks for explaining: some people only need a single person in their to feel fulfilled, so I like the idea of elaborating on her relationship with Zavis.

Peace: Aaaaah I'm glad I could help! I must've caught onto some under-tones in your summary haha, to read your mind like that ^^

War: He's def "favorite character" material, can't wait to see what you do with him :)

I'm really happy I could help! :) I'd love to take another look once you've had time to develop them all more, when they have their own pages and stuff, because I love their premises and am very interested in seeing your progress!! Good luck :)