forum Can you help critique him?
Started by @sharkfinn_ey
tune

people_alt 39 followers

@GraceAnn:)

Really awesome character!!!!!

-Does this character have a last name perhaps?
-Does his hair have some kind of pigment abnormality? Usually when the sun shines on a black hair it has a blue tent or a lighter shade [most of the time not a warm color] Unless his hair really is brown but it's so dark that it goes unnoticed.
-Does his hairstyle resemble a sheep? If it does I think that would be good to mention.
-Does his facial hair vary in length or by "lazy Shaver" do you mean that it's just a constant unprofessional looking medium length stubble?
-Are his eyes lighter than his skin tone? When I like of honey brown I think gold or a light brown. If so you might want to specify.
-Is there a reason that he works out as he does? Saying 'built' and 'lean' in confusing. Personally I know what you mean but for other people you might want to relate it to something or be more specific. Trying say ing something like "anime body" Or say "his works out for go and not show. His muscles have less size and more def"
-What is a significance to this whale tattoo? What's the story behind it. Is there a reason why it's detailed, Is that an important fact. If so, why?
-Is he left handed and people just didn't want to deal with teaching him to write with his left. Or is he ambidextrous?
-Is there a reason or important event on why he fears mason?
-Is is indecisiveness part of a twitch or OCD?
-Is the way he sits in chairs part of a superstition, safety belief of his, or a general habit?
-Why does anger drive him? What is he angry about? Was there an event that made him value his pride? Was does pride drive him?
-Were does he work that he only has the motivation in the early evening
-I agree with the pineapple pizza
-So you say he has creative threats. Does he think of them in his spare time? Or does he have a quick wit?
-Some things don;t quite add to his background, maybe you wanna check that out?
-The more I read about him he sounds like an antagonist, unless you want it that way, maybe try making him seem less like an occultist. Unless you like that, in that case you go girl.
-You say he take many jobs and loves training yet you also say he's not productive and doesn't like to do things [to me he sounds like the lion sin from Seven Deadly Sins, Lazy and weak by day! Strong, capable, and productive by night!

These are just opinionated suggestions. I think he's a great character already and improvements will only make him better! :))))))))