forum Can you critique my superhero here?

Started September 17, 2018 by Caboose

tune

Evan King He hasn't been entirely fleshed out yet but I've been focusing on changing the idea of sound powers. Whether that be just a sonic screech or a clap or even a sound gun. I wanted to change the fundamentals.

Alright, here ya go

Looks- Be a bit more descriptive on the brown! Light brown, dark brown, ya know? Is his hair curly or straight? Combed or messy? What kind of brown? Dark brown? Light brown? Maybe hazel? Big boned is not very descriptive for a body type. What type of scars on his left hand? Minor/major? Burn, scratch, etc.? What race of human? Could you be more descriptive on the color of his skin?

Nature-
How is he awkward? Is he socially awkward or awkward in general? The tapping and rapping is more of a habit than a mannerism. How does he walk/talk? Why does he stand up for people/what gives him that confidence? What does he love and how does it drive him to want to succeed? What would he define as success? What is his overall goal? Add a few more talents and hobbies. Also, in the flaws, standing up for people isn't really a flaw. His personality seems to be more about his motivation and talents and hobbies, but not how he treats others/himself/how he reacts to good/bad news/ things like that.
Social-
What brought him to the Catholic religion? Be who you are isn't a definitive political stance. Maybe he's democratic? I also noticed he's missing an occupation. If he has none, you could state that he's unemployed. Also it wouldn't hurt to add more favorites! It would also be useful to explain why each thing is his favorite.

I also noticed he has no History tab, background is the biggest contributor to his personality.
Powers-
It's hard to critique a super power because the rules have been bent and there's no way for an outside person to tell you what works and what doesn't, but I recommend integrating the repercussions to avoid an OP character. Some of his weaknesses might be losing his voice or a minor cold. Something that attacks his voice box is something that could severely weaken his power. Another thing is his eardrums; are they vulnerable to his volume? How and why? This could be very useful to specify.

Overall he sounds like a lot of fun! Good luck :)

So I've only just started with this guy, plus not gonna lie he started out as a tribute to my favourite rapper. So by big boned simply he's a big dude, he's very chubby. I like how his voice might be weakened by losing his voice or having a cold. He's catholic because that's just how he was raised thats how it is for most people. Now I'm integrating him as a character in another story and I haven't entirely thought of how he could fit in. He's awkward mostly when he's put on the spot and just has to talk but when he's rapping all of a sudden it's like a wave of confidence. It's complicated and contradictory I know but this is what I've noticed in watching some actors in my drama class. This kid has a constant tick. That means his face is constantly twitching. When he's performing it's just gone completely. Same with Stutters and lisps most of the time.

The general idea of his character is that he was caught up in a bad crowd that mostly used him and he's finally found friends who are like him and treat him like a person.

Awesome, I like the reason he was created :) I wish you well in working out a story with him :)