forum can you critique my girl here?

Started September 03, 2018 by Caboose

tune

I'll take a look at them! (i usually just do critiques as a series of questions, if thats alright.Keep in mind that these are just things I would ask myself to deepen my characters and you dont have to take me seriously)
-if Charlotte is nonbinary, wouldn't Charlotte use they/them pronouns? (not 100 percent sure but thats what most NB people I know prefer.)
-What do you mean by thick-skinned?
-is she sensitive about her scar at all? Proud? How does she feel about it?
-Why is she so hard on herself?
-how did she get into street art or clothing design? Did she pick it up herself, or did someone teach her?
-How did the accident with her girlfriend affect her? Did it make her numb to the world, sad, angry, bitter? This would be a great way to develop your character. :)
All in all, i think charlotte is a great character! You've already fleshed her out enoughto start writing, but you can never write too much about your characters.

"Windbreaker" isn't a nickname I would be proud to wear. The phrase "breaking wind" comes to mind and thats about farting.
I would go a little more detailed with the body types. Thick skinned is generally used to explain how someone behaves emotionally. It basically means they don't let things get to them easily. What would thick skinned mean in terms of physicality?
It's best to keep the pronouns consistent throughout your writing, the description changes from them to her. It will be confusing to the reader if its not consistent.
While the basis for the character is good, it's also generic. I'm assuming this is a rough draft, so be sure to flesh her out or she will be like every other character.