forum Can you critique my children?

Started May 04, 2018 by @Oniyuri

tune

For Mina, I really like all of her quirky attributes, but her personality seems all over the place. Try to find one saying or motto that completely describes her and build off of that. Right now you have her being very emotional yet cold at the same time. Although I see how those could work, it's up to you to make it work. Adding a little more explanation or taking a step back and reevaluating your character could fix that. Another this to consider is delving deeper into her motivation. Right now it seems that her most pressing concern is protecting her friends, but you should also consider why she feels the need to protect her friends. Do her friends represent a better part of her? Are her friends going to help her reach a separate goal for herself? Do her friends represent her character changing and growing? Again, it's up to you to look into your character. I can't wait to see what you come up with!
Moving on to Sophia. She's a really stable character with a strong base to build from. To take her to the next level ask yourself why she is the way she is. Why does she act selfish and cruel? Why does she put up a facade of being sweet and cute? Another thing to think about is how you're going to use her flaws to develop her further. Again, I really like what you've come up with so far and I can't wait to see where Sophia takes you!
Last but not least, Momo. Like Mina, Momo has some contrasting features which I think could work well when tied to her motivations and flaws. The important thing to ask is why Momo feels the way she feels. By doing this you can go back to who Momo is at a fundamental level. I really like Momo's whole personality scheme, but it seems like some parts of it don't fit. ask yourself why Momo puts up a facade and why she feels the need to support her family. Your characters are already great, but by asking yourself why your character does what they do, you can take them to the next level.
I hope this helped!