forum Can you critique my caracter?

Started May 10, 2018 by Dalmaknouzi

tune

My caracter is a 12year old girl named artemis, she loves chocolate and like to fight a lot, she is very stubborn,and is unstoppable,she hase red hair, grey eyes and a pale skin.

Hey! It might be easier for one to critique your character if you provide a link to your character profile. If you do not have a profile for your character, I suggest you create one before asking for your character to be critiqued, because you are missing many details that could be applied in the sheet given to you by this website. :) Good luck!

Ok thank you!

Thank you so much for helping me ! I am still new and i do not really know how to use this web site.
here is the link: Artemis Dezedicus

Ah, no problem! However, there is yet another wall we've run into; you must turn your character's publicity on. This is actually a common mistake among users of this website and even I forget to do so at times, haha. Finding where to change this setting is very easy, you just need to click the sharing icon at the right hand corner of your character's name and role photo. You'll get a little window with the setting option to keep your character public or private, and I'm sure you can figure out what to do from there :)

Thank you! I did it

Awesome! I'll work on critiquing your character now :)

Thank you so much ! You are so sweet!

Alright, to start off, it's a very nice character! It is a bit bare bones, though. The overview may have enough as it is, but the looks, nature, social and history are a bit lacking.
To start with the Looks tab, how red is her hair? Is it a dyed red or is it a ginger sort of red? Yes, her hair is short, but what kind of style is it? Does she like to wear accessories in her hair? Is it brushed/straightened/styled or kept loose and messy? Her race is white, but is she European or American, etc.? Her body type may be enough, but it could help to be more descriptive! (Also, side note, there is a bit of a typo in "Identifying marks"; Scar is spelled without an 'E' :) )
Next we'll go to the Nature tab. "Not judging people" can be more under her personality. She's not judgmental. Under mannerisms you might put the way she acts around people, nervous habits, her body language, that sort of thing. Under her motivations, chocolate is obviously a very good motivation, but this could help play into her story. Maybe add a few more motivations as well as give a reasoning as to why chocolate motivates her! Under flaws, that is also a bit empty. Make her more human! All humans make mistakes and have many flaws, so be sure to give her some that fit her character! Fighting is a very nice talent to have. How/why/from who/when/where did she learn to fight? Does she have any other talents? Her personality also needs a lot more explaining. What I like to do is I take the 16personalities test and answer according to how my character would answer. Afterwards, I read through my results and work off of that to be more in depth about my character.
Under social, a lot of these answers can be lengthened and further fleshed out with the question "Why?" why is her favorite animal a fox? Why is her favorite weapon a sword and shield? Etc.
In History, I can see the background is missing, which is totally understandable! One of my more fleshed out characters doesn't even have a story yet, so don't worry! It may help to create a very deep character before inserting them into a story, that way it's easier to write as that character and stay consistent with their decisions, mistakes, actions, etc.
Let me know when you're finished fleshing her out, I'd love to see what you come up with!

Thank you so much!it is my first caracter and i wanted some help
Hope i could help you sometimes!

No problem! I'd love to critique any new characters you create if you want any to be critiqued, haha :) Good luck and happy writing!