yuh this boi has been through lotsa critiques and i have tweaked him and built him up after each one and i just wanna get him to the point where he doesn't have any holes, contradictions, missing links, unexplained aspects, etc. so if anyone is up for the task go for it i believe in you
Thanks for the encouragement!
The first thing I noticed about Yuki was how solid he was as far as character type. I really grasp what type of character you're going for. Really the only thing that can be improved on is his fears deep down inside of him and how they control his life. Maybe he has an insecurity he tries to hide or a fear that controls everything he does. I like that his fear fighting, but when he overcomes that fear his life changes. I'm still wondering where he'll go as a character and how he'll change and develop. This would really make Yuki a more rounded character. If you already have some sort of fear in mind just make sure to integrate into his personality.
I hope this helped!
Hi hi I'm,,, gonna give this a go if you don't mind!
He's skinny and tall, and yet still manages to be almost 200 lbs. I understand he's tall, but he'd need to have more muscle mass to be that heavy even for 6'3" and would no longer qualify as 'skinny', maybe lean instead?
In the favorite weapo section, you mention that everyone adored and admired him for being top of the class. This strikes me as slightly contradictory, as you've mentioned he's a know-it-all and comes off arrogant and rude, why is that something that made others admire and like him? Or was this back when he was still within his own race, and such qualities were held in high regard? In which case, specify this. (Edit: I see you mention it in education, sorry about that, but maybe make it clear in the weapon section anyway? For consistency's and logicality's sake. I'm just being nit-picky at this point sorry.)
A great detail with the prejudice towards humans, and how he's logical enough to try and not let it affect his treatment of them, a brave aspect for a minority such as himself and his history with them. Shows a small side of a forgiving and unbiased nature.
He's clearly a very layered character and plenty of kudos to you for developping him so well!
(I also love the art you have for him, lovely addition! ^^)
(I also took a look at the playlist and in general I LOVE character playlists I think they can really a capture a character's essence and yours has plenty of super dope songs that immediately give me an idea of Yuki's trauma and just. Amazing. Great job, so much good, yes.)
wow very nice agree thank u for ur time -yuki's dead gilrifriend
Thank you both! These were both very helpful and I genuinely appreciate both of y'all's contributions :)
:) :) :)
I love how much detail that you put into him! Amazing! It was a bit hard,though,to imagine what he would be like in real life. Is he brainy,shy,a wizard? I can't really imagine those combos,so maybe you could further define some aspects of his personality? :)
i have a few thing but i might be nitpicking lol
you say his skin's blue tone is almost unnoticeable but it looks really strong in his ref? idk
his height and weight work for his build imo
the flaws work because of his backstory but i just wanna know how he survived when nobody else did??
also the fire thing seems a little out of place, why is he scared of it? does it conflict with the ice magic or can it melt him?
also he has a japanese name, so is he japanese? the gods and goddesses in the religion he practices also have japanese words as names, so it jp culture integrated in theirs? if yes, how did that happen? (could be colonization or something) if that makes sense and none of it applies, i might suggest changing or modifying his first name but it's 100% up to you
he has a lot going for him, but i don't see much grieving in his personality despite the loss he's been through
it looks like you've put a ton of work into him n i think ur on the right track!! rad character
Hey @sadgirl! Thank you for the critique. There are a few things I would like to clear up:
I understand that it's more obviously depicted in the drawings, but I'm quite limited with my artistic skill, haha, with my style, it's better to depict his skin with the blue tint being more noticeable, however in real life I'm sure it would be slightly less noticeable.
Next, I'm sure you're talking about when someone else commented on his weight; I've fixed it! I reduced his weight since the critique, haha.
It actually stated in his backstory that he survived because someone pulled him off away from the battlefield, and managed to escape alive.
The fear of fire is because of the fact that there was plenty of fire after the raid against his town. Many weapons were used, including weapons that caused fires. It would not be a surprise that Yuki is not fond of the thing that destroyed his entire race.
Yes, his race is highly influenced by Japanese culture! Japan and all the other countries in this world don't exist in this universe, buuut I did happen to use an inspiration in creating this culture :)
He actually grieves heavily! Yuki is an alcoholic, it's stated in his flaws and other places I believe :)
Thank you for the critique!