forum Can someone critique my characters plz?

Started January 30, 2019 by Caboose

tune

https://www.notebook.ai/plan/characters/684200-Mr. Hollow

Oké, so I'm going to start with Lorelei:
How does she decide who lives or dies? what criteria/ rules does she use. I understand that you're going for the cold, heartless murderer who thinks they're doing the right thing but you should go more into detail on her nature. How does she feel exactly when she kills someone? Does she enjoy it? why? and how does she handle it afterwards?
She has very little personality beyond the idea you built her on which can be a boring read. Maybe you could try to figure out how you can make her actions seem reasonable.

Next, Mr. Hollow:
Extend on the prejudices, I'm not sure what you mean there. How do other people feel about him and experience interaction with him? do they think he's annoying or do they find him interesting/charming? It might help to get more into detail about his mannerisms and personality.

That's what I can come up with for now. Hopefully, it helps.