forum Can someone critiique?
Started by @garbage-owo
tune

people_alt 30 followers

Corinne

I really like Jade! She seems really thought out and realistic! Some ideas for showing who she is more would possible be:
4036 is super old! How does that affect how she acts?
What does the Death mark and Life mark look like?
For more mannerisms think about how she acts when she's tired or stressed or angry and such
Could use more detail on the background, it seems really cool I'm just a touch confused.
From what I can tell she reincarnates every 15 years but is 4036, so how does that make her feel and act when she has been alive for so long but has to change every 15? that's like a heck tone of times to reincarnate.
I really like her! I never really see many powerful female Taiwanese characters and Its so cool!

@WriteOutofTime

Interesting character:
Mannerisms are small actions done habitually and subconsciously. So biting lips when nervous, refusing to make eye contact, smiling at random times; those are mannerisms. What you have in mannerisms now can go in personality type.
Her prejudices could use some explanation too. A prejudice is a negative belief based on generalization and upbringing, typically. So racism is a prejudice, aversion to people in poverty is a prejudice, thinking people need help could be a prejudice if you explained it more. Maybe she thinks most people are incapable, and she has to be their savior. Or something like that.
Personality type is fine if you expounded on it more. For instance, go down the list of INFJ-T and explain each component: I –introverted, she enjoys time alone and doesn't go out of her way to make friends, but she is friendly to those she trusts, etc. (just an example not necessarily your character.)
Politics is a bit of a cop out. She's very old. Ancient. She's seen governments rise and fall. She should have at least a bit of an opinion on it, even if the opinion is "all governments are doomed to fail."
Her background is really interesting, but it tells us what she is instead of who she is. Flesh her out. Tell us about her relationships, her upbringing, etc.

Otherwise, I can't find anything else that could be improved. She's really cool and I think she has a lot of potential. Good luck :3