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forum Can I get a sick critique on my soft, soft murder boi?
Started by @Oakiin
tune

people_alt 51 followers

@Celestial-Burst

Aright, I’ll give it a shot!

First off, you say he has no hair, but to what extent? Just no hair on his head? Or is it all over his body? Does he have facial hair? Leg hair? Or is he 100% bald?
So he doesn’t have any other identifying marks? No scars? No skin details? Maybe he’s super muscular! That counts! I mean, exaggerated facial expressions is good too, but he’s got to have something else!
Why can’t he have any hobbies?? Explain! Also, hobbies don’t have to be something large like idk… fishing or drawing. It can be something simple! Maybe he likes to star gaze at night when he has free time!
He’s missing half of his brain!?? I doubt he would be able to live even a slightly normal life with half of a brain. Not to mention it would be a barrier for learning, so the fact that hes being taught things with only half of his brain seems very unlikely, unless there is something about be a titan that allows him to regrow his brain and learn lol.
If his brain is capable of learning, I think it’s capable of having prejudices! Disliking everybody at the facility can be one if he doesn’t have a reason for hating them, that’s what a prejudice is, having an opinion of something even though there is no reason to! Also, if he is incapable of large amounts of emotion, then in my opinion trust really shouldn’t be one of them should it? So him having lots of trust in his small adopted family would be a bit unrealistic. And the fact that he is trusted with Payton’s six month old daughter is very concerning to me xD. He can barely think, let a lone take care of another who can’t take care of themself!
If he doesn’t eat, how does he live? There’s got to be something that keeps him alive then!

Anyways, that’s all I have! Sorry if I was a bit harsh lol, also sorry it’s super long, I like to go in detail when I critique lol. Good luck!

@Oakiin

Ah, wonderful, thanks so much! I'll definitely be using this to improve him <3 This was great, I really appreciate it!