forum Anyone want to critique my character?

Started February 20, 2019 by Anonymous author

tune

Invalid Character Yeah, I kind f want to focus on personality and backstory, but I don't mind.

i'll critique if you want!

i'll critique if you want!

Sure! Thanks!

aight so its a really good an detailed character but i feel like you focus a little too much on his workaholic thing,,,, like it should be focused on because its a source of tension but he doesn't really have a personality other than grumpy and workaholic. maybe give him some quirks and personalisation. otherwise, great job! would you mind critiquing mine? just any of the 4.

Oh sure! Thanks for the tips!

aight so its a really good an detailed character but i feel like you focus a little too much on his workaholic thing,,,, like it should be focused on because its a source of tension but he doesn't really have a personality other than grumpy and workaholic. maybe give him some quirks and personalisation. otherwise, great job! would you mind critiquing mine? just any of the 4.

I looked at your profile but I couldn't see any of your characters. Have you made them public?

i might have not, give me a moment

okay how would i go about doing that? making them public, that is

okay how would i go about doing that? making them public, that is

Go to your character page. Look at the buttons near the top beside the save or edit buttons. One of them will show you if your page is public or not.

litty they're all public now

Thank you!

litty they're all public now

(Amrua) You have a well-made character! Here are some things I'd like to point out.
-I know you might have explained the age system in the universe thing, but maybe in brackets you could briefly explain why your character is 138 years old.
-Mannerism is mostly body language and voice tone etc. I'm suggesting that you show when he is nervous, biting his nails etc. How does he act around mutual friends? Does he always act like that? Why and where, details and all that is what I'd add.
-Why does he have a prejudice against most other elves? Does he have some bad history with them?
-Whoa. I wish I had a talent of being able to spin a knife through my fingers! Just an optional prompt but you can write how Amrua learned how too! Just a suggestion.
-I think the personality needs to expand. Keep asking those questions about where, why, and how etc. Is snarky and chaotic the only thing? What other traits does he have? What I'm trying to say here is add more detail and traits to really round up your character. For example: Amrua is usually chaotic when he knows he has power, this is because (insert reason here). My character is especially chaotic and merciless with other elves/people because (insert reason here).
Okay. My example was pretty bad but I hope you understand to use sentences, reasons, details and not just listing.
-How do you skedaddle your own brother…..?
You have a good character idea but I'd add a lot more detail and all that jazz. Flesh out the character a little more and add reasons and more traits. Keep asking those where, why, and how questions. Yeah. I'm not great at explaining aren't I.

hey thanks! this really helped. he's 138 years old because elves age very slowly, and skedaddling part was kinda a joke about how his family didnt like him much, and when he left his brother attacked him over it. hope that clears some things up, and i'll definitely round my characters out some more!