forum Anyone want to critique my character?

Started February 17, 2018 by @El Capitan group

tune

She's the one the few characters I actually put any effort into and I was wondering how others see her from a different perspective.

Sure! I'll have a go at her!

Off topic, but shes a shorty and I love it xD. Ok first, what color of brown are her eyes? Mocha? Chocolate? There are lots of different shades of brown!! What do you mean by her body type being boyish? Do you mean something like she has little curves, very stick-ish? Where did she get the tattoos she has and why did she get them? Are they important to her or does she just think their cool? Does she have any more mannerisms? What does she do when shes excited? How about when shes thinking? How does she talk to people she doesn't like? She has very little flaws, I think you should give her some more. The two you have currently are great! But, I think you should dive a little deeper and find some more! If you can't think of any, here is a chart full of different flaws I like to use when creating a character – https://writerswrite.co.za/123-ideas-for-character-flaws/. Why doesn't she like men most of the time? And why does she want to keep her real name a secret? She doesn't care about polotics? Almost everyone around that age have some sort of political opinion, and she should especially since shes a thief and hitman and basically breaking a lot of laws. Her background is interesting from what I can tell, but its small. Tell us more! What killed her mother and brother? Why was her father abusive? Did he drink or what that just the way he was raised? Did she ever have any friends? What was her relationship like with her mother and brother like? Did her dad ever go looking for her after she ran away? When did she leave the first mob she joined and why? When did join her families cartel? Did she know about it?

Anyways, I like your character! I picture her as this small, bada** character who will beat ur butt if she has to lol. Good luck with her and the story! Hope I helped a bit! <3

@Celestial-B Thank you so much for the feed back and for the reference! I see now where I'm lacking info.

First, let me say: I love her!!! She's really cool.

Now, the nitty-gritty nitpicky stuff:

Where'd she get her tattoos? Why? Who did she get them with? What do they mean to her? I love her mannerisms, but her motivation seems a little lukewarm. With such a vibrant and horrible backstory, her motivation should run much deeper than that. Does she regret anything? Does she want revenge? Why doesn't she think her life has meaning? how does that clash with her Catholic views? Her flaws and prejudices work well with her character. however, only one talent?? Where are the rest of her skills? Can she fight, is she a good liar, do people trust her, is she a good baker, can she make friends? It may seem random/too many details, but in the long run its best to know as much as you can. Also, does she have PTSD/lingering effects from her abuse/traumatic childhood? That needs to be stated explicitly. Trauma doesn't just disappear. It follows you. Speaking of her background, maybe go into a little more detail of life after running away from home. Does her father go after her? Does she do well on the streets, or is she taken advantage of and has to learn how to survive? How did her experiences change her? The backstory is important because it provides an explanation as to why her personality is the way it is.

Okay, that's it. Fantastic character you have here. I had to look close to critique her. Great job.