forum anyone want some help?

Started March 28, 2019 by @Tiani

tune

I'm here to help if you need me xx

Hey can you look at my main character Esmeralda du Paris.
I want her to be a villain that is looked upon as a hero.
Like when you first meet her you think Hero who saved all.
Butt in the end it was her who ruled every inch of chaos and evil.

Is she giving that vibe? The she knows everything so she can't be evil, but that is her downfall vibe.

Think you've done a great job weaving in little bits of villain and hero into the character with her favourite animal being Raven but she's set on justice. I'm definitely getting that vibe from her, it's really believable and we'll set out. One thing I would say is to build up lots of back story, why is she so facist end on justice, what drives the things that drive her. What going on physiologically? Other than that, really well set up!

yeah i was wondering if you could think of any interesting villian ideas? something other than some big-scale army.

What's important with your villain is to find the motivation. What does your villain want with your protagonist. Is it a personal grudge, or more general. Was it someone that had a disagreement with her mother, did they love her father, were they jealous of her mothers abilities. Do they want done thing that your character has. Also, when you are making your villain, give them different abilities, but make them just as powerful. This makes the story interesting and well balanced. But give the villain a fatal flaw. you could pick one of the seven deadly sins, or, you could have multiple villains, all with a different sin as a flaw. I think if you could weave all of these things into your villain it would turn out great!

Hi, I was wondering if this is still open? :) I'd love of you to take a quick look at one of my characters: https://www.notebook.ai/plan/characters/662128#overview_panel He's not as complex, yet, as my characters tend to become, but I've noticed I have a habit of making some characters a little contradictory in their traits (because people are like that sometimes, hypocritical and stuff, but it makes for a lack of coherence when reading my characters). Could you tell me if he makes sense? Any other critique is very welcome. Thank you so much in advance! :)

I’m so sorry but it won’t let me view your character. It says I don’t have permission to view it?

Dude sorry!! I switched it onto public, that's my bad ^^"

It’s all good lol

I’m sorry but I LOVE THIS CHARECTER. It’s so fun and there’s so much you could do with this charecter. I don’t think there is anything to critique other than I’d like to know what his motivation in life. Just out of curiousity what kind of story is it that he’s going to be in?

What ohmygod really?? That's so sweet and great to hear???? Wow I had no idea he comes off nearly as fun as he does in my head haha, I'm really happy to hear it!! He's part of a story/script I'm currently fooling around with, he's the boyfriend of one of the main characters so I guess that bumps him up to "appears frequently" and it's… all a little stupid, it's a YouTuber AU where I basically have a bunch of characters that are YouTubers, but it's much much more focused on what goes on behind the camera, the real-life relations between them, the mental health issues and the differences between what they show to their audience and what they choose not to. Cameron's motivations… are probably a little blurry, but are along the lines of "be efficient, make up for lost time, if there's a bump in the road deal with it and don't let anyone dictate your decisions". I'll be sure to put that in.
Thank you so much! I really appreciate it :) (Is it okay if I drop by again, sometime, with another character?)

If you want, here's my character. Thanks!!

What ohmygod really?? That's so sweet and great to hear???? Wow I had no idea he comes off nearly as fun as he does in my head haha, I'm really happy to hear it!! He's part of a story/script I'm currently fooling around with, he's the boyfriend of one of the main characters so I guess that bumps him up to "appears frequently" and it's… all a little stupid, it's a YouTuber AU where I basically have a bunch of characters that are YouTubers, but it's much much more focused on what goes on behind the camera, the real-life relations between them, the mental health issues and the differences between what they show to their audience and what they choose not to. Cameron's motivations… are probably a little blurry, but are along the lines of "be efficient, make up for lost time, if there's a bump in the road deal with it and don't let anyone dictate your decisions". I'll be sure to put that in.
Thank you so much! I really appreciate it :) (Is it okay if I drop by again, sometime, with another character?)

YES, please drop by again, I love to help and I really like your style my friend!

If you want, here's my character. Thanks!!

I like the character a lot and he makes perfect contextual sense. His personality is a perfect example of what someone might be like in those circumstances. he was forced to grow up a little bit too early and that is reflected in how he feels about his sister. Over all I think it's a great character that you can do a lot with. Well done!!

Could i get some help? I have 0 idea what im doing.

Of course, what with?

Do you know a good way to express a character going through long and hard training with someone more experienced?

Hello, mind taking a look at my boi? qwq

And maybe this villain too, if you have time

I love how in depth this character is, you can really tell that you know them inside out. There isn't much that can be added honestly, i feel as though you've pretty much thought of everything.
as for your villain, it too is very well thought out. I'm interested as how it poses a threat to any of the charecters with it's species not wanting to face a Morphidae. I'm a firm believer that a villain should be a threat but i'm not saying there are any faults, only that i'm curious. Could you tell me where this character fits into your plot/world?

Do you know a good way to express a character going through long and hard training with someone more experienced?

There's always that always that stereotypical scene of the the trainer completely ruining the trainee while yelling advice then saying "we'll continue tomorrow". personally, I can acknowledge that it tells the reader everything they need to know but it's getting slightly boring. I think having a character having an inner monologue is a very useful tool. you can have them literally express what is happening or have them think about things that insinuate the details of their training, the latter being more complex and hard to pull off. You can have them dwell on bruises and scars if it is some kind of physical training or intense fatigue if it's more mental. having a determined character makes the withstanding of tough training more realistic and them having them sometimes frustrated exaggerates how hard the training actually is. Perhaps they can feel a type of awe towards the more experienced person or a sense of hatred and jelousy depending on how nice the trainer is. I hope this helped?

@Tiani Aloisia (Ah-loy-see-uh) This is Aloisia. Ive been thinking about her for a few years but never done much with it. Im gonna write a book but i wanna solidify the characters first.

thank you :)

Hi, I was wondering if this is still open? :) I'd love of you to take a quick look at one of my characters: https://www.notebook.ai/plan/characters/662128#overview_panel He's not as complex, yet, as my characters tend to become, but I've noticed I have a habit of making some characters a little contradictory in their traits (because people are like that sometimes, hypocritical and stuff, but it makes for a lack of coherence when reading my characters). Could you tell me if he makes sense? Any other critique is very welcome. Thank you so much in advance! :)

Hi, I saw your charecter (I really liked him by the way) but I noticed that you said he was Hispanic in the begining of the profile, but than you proceded to say that he was Brazilian. I am Brazilian, and though I'm not offended (I can see that you had the best of intentions) I would just like to clarify that we are not Hispanic, even though we live in Latin America. We speak Portuguese and our country was colonised by Portugal, not Spain. Hispanic is not a synonym for Latino, it's just a word that characterize people from countries where Spanish is the main language. For example, people from Spain are Hispanic but are not Latino, and people from Brazil are Latino but not Hispanic. Again, I'm not offended and I am sure you had the best of intentions. I just wanted to point out the mistake so you can correct it. Maybe he is part Hispanic and I didn't see it, Idk. But he seems really interesting and well developed, so congratulations (I also really liked that you said that his favourite food is Moqueca, which is a very popular dish in the part of Brazil were I live. I hate it, but it is something people really eat in here. Not in all parts of Brazil btw. In Rio de Janeiro, for example, it's not very popular)

Hi, I was wondering if this is still open? :) I'd love of you to take a quick look at one of my characters: https://www.notebook.ai/plan/characters/662128#overview_panel He's not as complex, yet, as my characters tend to become, but I've noticed I have a habit of making some characters a little contradictory in their traits (because people are like that sometimes, hypocritical and stuff, but it makes for a lack of coherence when reading my characters). Could you tell me if he makes sense? Any other critique is very welcome. Thank you so much in advance! :)

Hi, I saw your charecter (I really liked him by the way) but I noticed that you said he was Hispanic in the begining of the profile, but than you proceded to say that he was Brazilian. I am Brazilian, and though I'm not offended (I can see that you had the best of intentions) I would just like to clarify that we are not Hispanic, even though we live in Latin America. We speak Portuguese and our country was colonised by Portugal, not Spain. Hispanic is not a synonym for Latino, it's just a word that characterize people from countries where Spanish is the main language. For example, people from Spain are Hispanic but are not Latino, and people from Brazil are Latino but not Hispanic. Again, I'm not offended and I am sure you had the best of intentions. I just wanted to point out the mistake so you can correct it. Maybe he is part Hispanic and I didn't see it, Idk. But he seems really interesting and well developed, so congratulations (I also really liked that you said that his favourite food is Moqueca, which is a very popular dish in the part of Brazil were I live. I hate it, but it is something people really eat in here. Not in all parts of Brazil btw. In Rio de Janeiro, for example, it's not very popular)

By the way, if you need any help, I would be very happy to help you with your cultural research. It is very important to do A LOT of research when you are writing about a culture that is not your own, and a little help from someone from that culture could be very useful! Don't feel bad about yourself, by the way. It is a common mistake and although it sucks, we are already used to it .-. (People usually speak in Spanish with me when I tell them that I'm from Brazil and it really bothers me beacuse I don't speak Spanish so I don't understand what they are saying) But the important thing is to notice the mistake ad correct it in time! Again, I can see you only had the best of intentions, and by any means wanted to make you feel bad about yourself. Most people don't know that, and I just wanted to inform you so you don't make the same mistake again!
Wish you the best of luck with your Story!

@Tiani Aloisia (Ah-loy-see-uh) This is Aloisia. Ive been thinking about her for a few years but never done much with it. Im gonna write a book but i wanna solidify the characters first.

Hey! I really like the idea of this character. The only thing I think I would say is when you write more for the background, put lots of thought into it. It's probably the best way to solidify your character. Other than that, well done! Please feel free to come back if you ever need help or advice with anything :)