forum Anyone feel like critiquing a character? :)
Started by @darling-velocipede group
tune

people_alt 42 followers

@cue-nervous-humming

Hi :)
He seems like a sweetheart and i already don't like his family. One thing you might be able to add in regards to that is his own opinion on his family. Because I can tell you hate his parents for their views and forcing him to keep his magic, but how does he see them? That would make for an interesting complex relationship to explore. I do realize you might not have included this because its hard to find a space for, but ot think it'd be cool to see his perspective on that a bit more.
I like all the fun quirks you give him, and how in the end they relate back to his main focus of trying to make everyone happy and to have an as difficulty free life as possible for the amount of time he has left.
The sushi story made me smile

Another thing you could add is some more of the impacts his sickness would have on his life. Bone deterioration is usually caused by the bone marrow not being able to produce enough new bone cells to replace those that are dying off, creating a porous and so more brittle bone. That means he's able to break his bones a lot more easily than most, and that they'll usually need to be surgically fixed together with metal rods etc to even have a chance of healing again, and they heal a lot slower. Now ways that could impact his life could be that at some point he'll have to give up RH ball because it becomes too dangerous. Also, making him drink a lot of milk and hanging out in the sun for vitamin D would make sense seeing as that helps with bone structure growth (though his disease is caused by magic so who knows if thatd help in his case, which might make him hate those activities even more seeingas they are quite possibly redundant)
Sorry i geeked out a bit there
But other than that i really really like his character and the depth and thought you've put into him :)
Hope this was at least a tiny bit helpful

@darling-velocipede group

@cue-nervous-humming Thank you so much for all the good information about, for lack of a better word, the bone stuff! I'm definitely going to find ways to explore some of what you mentioned more, particularly the sun and milk. I'm not too sure about the stuff with his parents yet- I think his boyfriend, Terrin, will be the one who really hates them, but because they're his parents, Maddox will be more scared of them and just avoid them as much as possible. I'm still working that out though.

Thank you for all your help! ((: