Life is a matter of outlooks. Personally, if not for my wife, mine would have been ‘there is only one constant; life comes and goes’. A jaded sentiment perhaps, but the truth nonetheless. At the very moment I needed her most, she was there, a beacon of light in the darkness. To her a life is measured by the memories of your children. I would never deign to tell her that I like her’s better. You are here, ultimately for the story of our children, but to understand them – you must also hear our twisted tale.

We begin our story in the fair country of Darion. Many families, chased out of their homelands by the Kicrion invaders of the North came together in solidarity. Twelve noble houses from these families came together to create a government dedicated to the preservation and cooperation of their cultures. For decades, the Pravaci Court ruled the fertile region with a firm and fair hand. Over time, the houses tired of the demands of ruling and chose to relinquish parts of their power to the two houses, Deracose and Seblire, who actively enjoyed governance. These two houses, through a unanimous vote rose to the top, and ruled as a diarchy. Each house still presided over their own domains whether it be as patron of the arts or medicine or what have you, however, they all fell under the wise direction of the two king houses.

My family, House Uradavi, is one of the Pravaci Court and my mother acts as the matriarch, overseeing the house and the medical domain. This position gives her the right to act as Head Midwife of the kingdom and Chief Medic, it was up to her to monitor legions of people and ensure their training. But, as my mother would never let us forget, our lives were almost very different. My mother used to take us on trips through Estonie when my brothers and I were children. We would leave the gleaming limestone walls of our manor near the palace, past the clean capital city streets, to the rough outer reaches. From the confines of the carriage, she would narrate what the common citizenry were doing. She would remind us that this was how she spent her childhood. The areas might have changed, but the message was always the same:

            Only my actions separate you from them. If I had let life pass 
	me by, we would still be there, in the filth struggling to stay 
	alive. Boys, nothing in life is without struggle. Even the things 
            you were born with can be taken away if you fail to protect
	yourself. Only through diligence and hard work can you support 
	and ensure your slot in life.

My brothers would all nod solemnly and think of all the wonderful things they had back in their rooms and how they would never want to be without them.

However, when I looked out the carriage window, I did not see men and women throwing their lives away. I saw people working hard to make their lives a little bit better day by day. The sweat on their brows was hard earned and not without benefit. A constant I saw among all of them was that there was a look of determination about all them. There was an air about them did not touch the noble men and women of the palace and Pravaci Court. The work may have looked humble, but there was pride in them. The swordsmith at his bellows, the fishmonger hawking his wares, and the baker kneading her dough – they all fascinated me in a way the tittering nobles never had.

Mother tried to take us at least once a season perhaps to reinforce that no matter the weather, we should be grateful of our station. My brothers would always moan when left for these trips, but I looked forward to them. My family saw poverty, but I saw freedom. Whenever I would return from these trips, I could not help but look out the window and wonder if the bricklayer had finished the wall yet or if the girl selling potatoes had made enough for the day. Sometimes the other Pravaci children would ask me about the outside world, but most were content to stay within their bubbles of luxury. However, without fail, Prince Jerlorn and Prince Solin would always hungrily grilled me for more.

“Where did you go this time Erion?” Solin would ask – eyes as big as saucers. I would revel in being the center of attention for a moment before Jerlorn would grow impatient and pretend to leave. “Wait, wait! I’ll tell you…” I would pause for dramatic effect and then go in depth in the new things I had seen.

Soon, it was not enough to just watch the world from the carriage window. So when I was eleven I made a plan to see the city on my own. After weeks of preparation, I snuck out of the Pravaci district one afternoon after my lessons were over. I changed into my oldest and muted clothing, devoid of my house color, that I had stashed under a rock just outside the palace gates. After making sure the knife I had stolen from the palace kitchen was in my pocket, I set out for adventure. That first day I did not get very far before I realized that I would need a better mode of transportation than my feet.

That first afternoon, when I came back I was so scared of being caught that I snuck in through the servant’s entrance. Instantly, I was amazed at the chaos. Laundry Maids whisked by with baskets full of clean and dirty linens and footmen yelled at each other with trays full of cutlery. But what interested me most were the smells of the kitchen. It wasn’t until the scent of the fresh food hit me that I realized how ravenous I truly was. With my nose in the air, I found the kitchen and slipped inside. Immediately afterwards, I wished I had stayed outside. The bustle and pace that everyone moved almost knocked me off my feet. The kitchen maids scampered around busily chopping and stirring under the bellowed directions of the cook. I had thought the streets of Estonie were busy, but they had nothing on the kitchens.

I must have stood there in amazement for a full minute before I was pulled out of my stupor by a tiny hand. “Move dummy or you’re going to get caught!” she said as she gave my sleeve a mighty yank. “Follow me.” And the little blond girl slipped around a corner. With no better plan, I followed her as she scampered up a staircase to a balcony that overlooked the culinary chaos below. She sat down with her little legs dangling between the iron bars of the balcony railing and looked up at me as if to ask why I had not joined her yet. It looked like this was a well-frequented spot for her, there was a basket full of cookies and a jug of what I assumed was juice next to her.

She offered me a cookie as I sat down and turned back to watch the kitchen below. “You are in the classes below me, right? You are one of the Camile girls!”

She shot me a look and scoffed. “Obviously,” gesturing to her amethyst hairpin. “I guess you’re just another dumb Uradavi, huh?”

My face burned and I gaped at her for a second. How could someone be so mean and nice in the space of a minute? “I’m not dumb! I was just trying to make conversation.”

“Not very well.” She mumbled through a mouthful of cookie.

I truly did not know what to say and to give myself a moment I took a bite. The warm chocolate melted in my mouth and despite how foul this little girl was; nothing was wrong in the world. “Can we start over?” I asked, offering her my hand. “I’m Erion, it’s nice to meet you.”

She just looked at me for a beat before gingerly shaking my hand, “I’m Eline.”

“So how did you manage all this?” I asked.

Her brow furrowed, “manage what?”

“This, the food, the juice, your own little spot?” I gestured to her little basket.

“Oh, the cook caught me stealing snacks and told me that if I wanted food I was going to work for it. So, I suggested being a taste tester. I think he just thought I was cute, but everyday there is a basket of new sweets and at the end of the day, I tell him what I think. I just like to come up here and watch them while I do my schoolwork.”

“Wait your house is in charge of education and they still make you do your work?” My eyes were on the very of popping out of my head.

“I thought we were past asking dumb questions.” She said while lifting one eyebrow, looking professorial.

“Dumb is your favorite word isn’t it?” I grumbled.

“Dumb is simple and to the point, but my favorite word is precocious. It means to be smart earlier than other children.” Eline lifted rolled her shoulders back and gave me a pointed look.

“I know what that means. It was one of our words a few months ago.” I stuffed the rest of the cookie in my mouth. “Has anyone told you that you’re pretty mean?”

To my surprise, Eline’s cheeks grew red and she could not meet my eyes. “Yeah, I’m not really good with people. I need to work on it, I just like books better.”

“I’ll make a deal with you. Let me join you and I’ll help you be nicer.” I said as my stomach growled loudly. If I could not get to the outer reaches, this would have to be good enough.

She giggled and handed me another cookie. “I cannot really stop you, but sure. I can never finish these anyways.”

And so, for the next month I sat with Eline after classes with an assortment of sweets, some better than others, and soon we were fast friends. One day, while we were talking about how Eline had managed to offer advice nicely when I saw a man push a wheelbarrow out the door. “Eline, where does that man go every day?” She leaned over to look at him closer. “That’s Geraln; he goes out to the market to get fresh food, like fish, beef, and vegetables.”

The wheels began to turn in my head. “And he also has to get back before dinner, right?”

She rolled her eyes “You’re asking dumb questions again….”

I jumped up, grabbed the day’s jug of juice, and replied, “You’re being rude again.”

“Hey! Where are you off too?” She called after me as I flew down the stairs.
I snuck behind Geraln and his cart, careful that no one but Eline followed. He stowed the wheelbarrow in a covered, mule pulled wagon and after closing up the back and lowering the tarp, he moved to ready the mule. It was now or never.

Eline finally caught up to me as I was climbing over the gate at the back of the wagon. “Where are you going?” she hissed at me, “Erion!”

With what must have been the most mischievous of grins, I gave her a wave and pulled the tarp closed. The cart began to roll forward and I was off to what I was sure was the beginning of a life of adventure.

I hid next to the wheelbarrow and I tried to stay awake, I really did, but the darkness and the sway of the wagon sent me to one of the deepest sleeps of my young life. I did not wake up until I found Geraln nudging me with his foot.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked.

I looked up at him sheepishly and offered him the jug of juice, grape today, and explained, “I wanted to go exploring but I needed a ride who would come back before dinner. Sorry. Take this as payment?”

Surprisingly, Geraln guffawed and took the jug. “Well aren’t yah a clever one. Be ma guest, but be back before the bell tolls 4 times, or else I’ll leave yah.” I was so happy that I threw my arms around his waist before scampering out of the cart.

I had been here before, but it was so much more exhilarating to be in the thick of the crowd. Everyone was selling something and the smells of the market overwhelmed my senses, the spiciness of cinnamon mixed with the brine of salt water and the tang of citrus and the sweet smell of strawberries. I wandered around market until it started to lead towards dwellings. I looked at all of the stone houses, sturdy, simple, and unadorned and could not help but feel at ease. Barely into the neighborhood, I found a well and suddenly I became aware of how thirsty I was. I ran to it but realized that the water was far below and I did not know how to bring it up.

“You having trouble there?” asked a soft voice behind me.

I whirled around and found the prettiest girl I had ever seen before.. “Uh whaa?” I said, very intelligently, lost in the depths of her Strician blue eyes.

The girl smiled and gestured at the well. “You forgot your bucket, would you like some help?”

It was too much to look at her. I kicked a pebble with my boot and mumbled something like, “Yes please, no one has ever shown me how to use a well.”

She gave me a funny look and smiled pityingly at me. The absurdity of it, this common girl pitying me! A Pravaci child! “First you need a bucket and you hook it into the pulley like this.” And she went through the steps of drawing water. She unhooked a little cup from her belt and offered me some water once she had pulled up the bucket.

I guzzled it down and was shocked with how refreshing it was. “I understand now, can I try?”

She handed me the bucket and said, “be my guest.”

All went smoothly until I had to pull the water back up. I would like to consider myself one of the best at swordplay of my year, I regularly bested my older brothers – but this… this was heavy. It took all my effort to not huff and puff as I pulled up the now full bucket. She had struggled a little but, I thought that it was just because she was so slight. I set it down with a thud and looked at her with a new light.

“Thank you, now I really must be going.” The girl said as she picked up the handles of both buckets and began to waddle towards her home, her thick black braid swinging behind her.

“Wait! I do not even know your name.” I said jumping after her.

“Marielle, you?” She huffed as she stepped.

“I’m Erion.”

She stopped in her tracks. “As in Erion Uradavi?”

I puffed out my chest a little, “You’ve heard of me?”

She set down both buckets and genuflected “Of course my Lord, I am so sorry I didn’t recognize you earlier. I would never have made you draw the water if I had known!”

I scrambled to pull her to her feet. “Stop that! I’m nobody.”

“But – ”.

“Does it make you feel better if I forbid you from calling me that or bowing?”

She seemed to consider that for a moment, “Well if I really can say anything?”

I nodded my head so vigorously that it could have flown off.

“I don’t care to be forbidden from anything. But thank you for being kind.”

My face burned a little, “Sorry.”

She moved to pick up both of the buckets again but I cried “Wait, let me help you.”

“Oh no, I could never. And I’ve got it. I can do it.” She said with a determined look.

“Oh I know that you can, but I feel rude just watching you and I want to say thank you for the water. Please? Don’t make me beg.”

Marielle gave her lip a little nibble and finally gave me a bucket. We walked towards her home and I asked her about herself, she seemed wary at first but she slowly opened up. I learned that she had lived here her entire life with her two sisters, her mother and her grandfather. Her father was out fighting in one of the foreign campaigns. She had just turned eleven and we bonded over finally being in the true double digits; that ten did not really count. We had just reached her door when I heard the bell begin to ring.

“Oh no! I’ll come back tomorrow!” I exclaimed as I set down the bucket and sprinted back towards the market. I reached the market just as the last bell stopped ringing.

Geraln just looked at me with a lifted eyebrow and said “Cuttin it a bit close there, eh?”

I nodded, hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath. He waved me up to sit on the bench beside him, “Come on then.” We made our way back to the palace and I could not help but grin all through dinner.

The next day I came to Eline and my spot to find her angrily tapping her foot. “Have fun did you? You talk a lot about being nice, but that was just pain mean!” she said, jabbing her finger into my chest.

I couldn’t help but grab her hands and jump around. “It was amazing! You have to come this time. I went to the square and met the most wonderful person; you’re going to love her!”

She pulled her hands away and patted her hair down. “I am not sneaking off with you. So many things could have gone wrong. That was a dumb thing to do.”

With a huff I started to move towards the stairs.

“Wait,” she called. I turned and found her holding a new jug. “It’s currant juice and I hate currant juice.”
_______________________________________

I snuck out like this every day after our classes. I tried to go see Marielle as much as possible but Geraln only went to this particular market once a week and while it was exciting to see different part of the city, I really just wanted to see Marielle again. When we finally did go back to the same market as the first day I went straight to the well and found her there.

“Hi!” I said, bouncing next to her.

She giggled and smiled at me, close lipped and demure, “I was beginning to think you were never coming back.”

I explained what had happened and promised that I would come as often as I could. “I brought you something,” I said as I offered her a cinnamon cookie.

She took a bite and immediately her eyes grew wide. “This is the best thing I have ever eaten in my entire life.” She threw her arms around me and hugged me tightly. Right then and there I promised myself that I always try to make her this happy. I made sure to come back every week. ((Will probably add more dialogue later))

I thought I was so brave and strong, sneaking out on my own. It had not crossed my mind that plain clothes Pravaci guards followed at a distance every time. Maybe a month into out excursions, my mother called me into her work chambers.

She did not even bother to look up from her desk and I was certain that I was about to be spanked within an inch of my life. My fists were clenched so tightly at my sides that my entire body was shaking with the effort to stay still. But she just continued to write in her book as I stood there.

Finally, she broke the silence, “So you snuck out of the district?” When I did not respond she prompted me with “I give you permission to answer.”

“Y-yes Mother.”

“You have been planning this for weeks.”

“Yes Mother.”

“After watching their schedule, you snuck out on a servant’s run to the markets.”

“Yes” Each answer was growing closer and closer to a mumble.

“You made sure that you would make it back to the palace in time.”

“Hmm, I was wondering which of you would be the cleverest.” She said, still writing.

“Ye- what?” I was so dumbfounded that I forgot to be terrified.

“I think you heard me. You may go.”

I almost made it out of the room before asked, “Why?” 

With my hand on the doorframe, I turned to her and was surprised to see her looking at me. “It’s interesting mother. I like watching them while they work.” 

She seemed to find this answer acceptable and waved me away, I was all too happy to run off before she changed her mind again.

A week later, on the day of rest, our manservant, Kornime escorted me to our courtyard where a little cart and donkey was waiting with a white bow tied around its neck. “From your mother, she said to make sure to tell you that ‘Cleverness will always be rewarded. Use your freedom wisely.’” 

I cautiously approached the animal and offered him my palm to sniff. He lipped at my fingers and finding nothing, he gave a snort and looked at me with a mild consideration. Kornime gave me a quick lesson in how to use the cart and immediately I was off! I knew exactly where I was going to go first.
______________________________________________

“Can I speak to Eline please?” I asked the Camile maid who had opened the door.

Before she could say anything I could hear “What do you want Erion?” and Eline came to the door.

The maid disappeared and it was just the two of us. “Look at what my mother gave me! We can go wherever we want now! Come with me.”

She looked at me hard and after what felt like eternity; she nodded, “But only to keep you out of trouble.”

Notes

TryToDoItWrite

Yoooo! This is good! it flows very well I think, and the introduciton at the beginning is solid. The only over arching fault I can find with this is that it is very lengthy for a prologue and while it is amazing and gets the reader deeply invested into how these peoples lives turn out, it promised at the very beginning to get the reader invested into their children's story. If it were me writing it, I would cut only to the parts of the introduciton of the world as a whole and the main point of the thing, i.e. Erion and Eline's story of their romance and marriage and the set up to the story to come. I may not be understanding the point of this, but from what I understand this is not the main story but the introduction.
But that's all up to you.

On the grammatical side:
One thing I noticed is that sometimes you forget to indent for new speakers. You end up with paragraphs that look like a block, and the different speakers are hard to follow. Also, don't forget to use commas with speaker tags and periods with complete sentences.

But the little grammar mistakes in generally don't draw me away from the story! I thought it was entertaining and drew me into the story and into the characters. I can understand the motivations and thoughts of all and they aren't all the same! It's so good! (cause that's very difficult and writing is much harder than it seems)
The only thing I would be wary of is spending so much time developing this introduction, this prologue, that you forget your end goal and end up disappointing or confusing readers who got so into the characters that end up not being a main part of your story.
But I have no clue what you're doing with this. It's ultimately up to you, the creator, cause I, the reader, am ignorant to your plans.
It's awesome! Keep it up!

WriteOutofTime

This is so good! Do be careful of the dialogue mistakes mentioned above–no one wants to read a confusing mass of dialogue. Otherwise, I like the imagery a lot. You are very skilled with descriptions and the world you're creating is absolutely bursting with life. I think this is a very gripping beginning and has the potential to be amazing! Good job.