Erion

The best officers are not made by solely by the brilliance of their maneuvers or the number of battles won, rather by how they regard their soldiers. Severe and tyrannical treatment may be passable in the short term; however, it does nothing to inspire loyalty or discipline – only resentment. There is such a way to motivate men with a proper example of compassion for ones fellow soldiers. It is imperative that when giving orders to troops that one does – “Erion!” Eline shook my shoulder and pulled me out of my textbook.

Lady Morn just happened to passing at that moment and her hawkish eyes narrowed as she stopped in her tracks. “Miss Camile, you know better than to shout in the library. Either carry on your conversation elsewhere or stop,” she said sternly and continued on her way.

Eline looked both mortified and furious, her mouth gaping like a fish at Lady Morn’s back. I stifled a snicker as I gathered my books and notes. Gods, I could feel her seething next to me as we left the library.

Eline found her voice the moment the grand doors closed behind us. “Honestly! That woman! I – just, ugh!” she sputtered.

Without thinking, I laughed. I immediately regretted it.

“You think this is funny, do you?” She spat and bumped me with her hip.

I am not proud to say that I stumbled slightly. “Alright, that was in poor taste. I deserve that,” I said as I rubbed my side. “You have such a bony backside. I believe you cut me.”

She shot me a glare for a moment but then broke into a smile. “You are a bony ass.”

“There you go again. Not nice.” I grinned at her as she laughed at me. “Now what was so important that you risked incurring the wrath of Lady Morn?”

“Risked? I did incur her wrath,” She said, rolling her eyes.

“Stop arguing semantics and spit it out Eline,” I teased. But to my surprise instead of a witty comeback, the blood rose to Eline’s cheeks.

Was she okay? Was she sick? Eline never blushed. She tucked a stray strand of blond hair behind her ear with a shaky hand and my concern only grew. There was a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach. There was something wrong. What was she hiding?

“Oh, stop being impatient. I will tell you when we get to the courtyard.” She was deliberately not looking at me. Her hand was balled into a fist and it was trembling ever so slightly. Eline was going to tell me something devastating; I could feel it in my bones.

We went the rest of the way to the courtyard in an awkward silence. Thankfully, it was not too much further. I trailed after her as she strode to her favorite bench, the one under the cherry tree. It was in full bloom and a few petals escaped every time the wind blew. She patted the spot next to her and looked up at me expectantly.

I could hear my heart pumping in my ears as I sat next to her. “Yes?” The hairs on the back of my neck were standing on end and looking at her was like trying to look at the sun – unbearable.

Eline looked down at her hands folded carefully in her lap. She was holding them so tightly that her knuckles were white. “It has taken me so long to find the courage to say this so you had better let me finish or the gods themselves will fear my wrath. Understand?”

I nodded.

“Other than my family, you were my first friend. I have made all of my other friends because of your kindness. Without you, I would still be that sullen little girl in the kitchens with her nose stuck in a book, making snide comments about dumb people.”

I could not help myself. “You still do that!” I ribbed.

She hit me, but rewarded me with a smile. “I will end you Uradavi.”

I held up my hands in surrender.

Eline looked off into the distance. “Now, I have a whole group of people who accept me for who I am. Who laugh with me. Who help me dry my tears. Who will support me when I need it. And I them. All because of you. You have given me the world without asking anything in return.” She seemed to find her strength because she turned to me. “I mean at first you just wanted my food, but you have not asked for anything since. Whenever I have something happy or sad to share, I want to run to you. You have become my safe place, my home.” She took a shaky breath and grabbed one of my hands. “You have to promise me that whatever I say will not ruin our friendship. I do not need an answer now, but please do not hide from me. That would break my heart.”

My head was a swirling pool of emotions. Up was down. Left was right. My body was turning to stone. I did not know whether to be relieved or scared. I had thought that someone had died or she was leaving or she had some flesh-eating disease. But, if she was going to say what I think she was going to say – that was almost worse. Do not jump to conclusions! Hear her out! I chided myself.

“Of course, I could not hide from you if I tried,” I said as I picked a stray cherry blossom out of her hair.

“I think that I love you Erion. I think that I always have.”

Gods above and below, I was going to break her heart. Until now, my greatest fear had been Marielle finding out how I felt about her. But this was worse – so much worse.

“I know that you fancy Marielle, but Jerlorn is starting to woo her and –”

Wait. She knew? Who else knew? Did Marielle? I could feel my eyes growing wider. Sweat was starting to bead on my forehead. Any thoughts I had were replaced by internal screaming.

She must have seen me panicking because she sighed, “Do not worry, you infant. I only know because I know you so well.”

Oh, the agony she must have felt as I pined over Marielle. I wanted to hide from the shame of it all.

She tucked her hair behind her ear again. “I do not need your reply, but promise me you will think on it.”

I stared at her for who knows how long before I regained control of my brain. “I promise,” I croaked. With sweaty palms, I held both of her hands in mine and gave them a squeeze. “And you and I will be friends until the end of time. I promise that too.”

She nodded curtly, all the tension gone from her little body. Then she got up, kissed me on the cheek, and walked away. As she left, she whispered, “Thank the gods that is over with” under her breath.

I watched as the wind played with her hair and skirts. More blossoms rained down and I was struck by how beautiful the scene could have been had I not been thunderstruck.

Eline.

Eline?

Eline.

She did have a beauty about her, with her small features and fiery personality. She was like a murderous pixie, just waiting for the opportunity to rip you to shreds. Even the way she moved was like that – she always looked like she had somewhere to be. She always moved with a purpose.

Could I love her back?

I thought about all the times that we sat next to each other, poring over textbooks and wishing for more adventures. I thought about all of the times we snuck out of the castle to explore Estonie. Every memory of us seemed to float around my head. I wanted so desperately for that spark to ignite, the one that I felt when I thought of Marielle. That breathless feeling, the one that made me feel like a fish out of water.

Nothing came. There was only the low hum of friendship. It was a gentle warmth of a hearth on a cold day or of cookies straight from the oven.

Defeated, I finally forced myself to make my way home. The entire ride was a blur; my mind just dissected every one of Eline’s words over and over again. I moved mindlessly towards my chambers before I was called out of my stupor.

“Erion!” Mother yelled. I blinked up at her as she descended the stairs. “I have called you more times than I care to count.”

“My apologies, Mother. My mind is elsewhere,” I said, making sure to look her directly in the eye.

Her brow furrowed slightly and she motioned me closed to her. I met her at the foot of the staircase and she raised the back of her hand to my forehead. “You are not feverish, and yet you look afflicted.”

“It is nothing Mother. My day was taxing is all.” I made sure to stand as straight as possible, praying that she would move on so that I could go think my life over.

She looked skeptical but she dropped her hand and the subject. “Go and pack a bag with some clothes. I am sending you to continue your learning elsewhere. You –”

“What? No! I –”

The look on her face was thunderous. In that instant I would have rather had the ground swallow me whole or have my tongue ripped out by Rionel in the Third Hell than be in front of Mother. Her eyes were like ice as she looked down at me. “Do you wish to continue? If your words are more important than mine, I will wait.”

“No Mother. I have nothing of importance.” I looked at my shoes.

“You will not be returning for some time. Were I you, I would bring a few things of sentimental value. Go.” She pointed up the stairs and I took the opportunity to flee.

I only stopped once I had reached the top of the staircase on the third floor to look down at the foyer. Mother was wiping down the bust of her favorite philosopher and for a moment, I truly and deeply despised her. I pushed the thought away. There was no way that she could have known the dilemma I was facing. This was not her fault. Still, the anger lingered.

Once I had packed the essentials, I took a moment to look around my room. Nothing stood out to me. Oddly, it felt wrong to take anything of real worth. Mother did not approve of sentimentality and so her advice felt wrong. Instead, I took only an inkwell, my new quill, and a roll of parchment. I promised myself that I would write Eline the moment I had a chance.

Travel case in hand, I made my way down the limestone steps. I had almost made it to the last step when I heard a sound behind me. Before I could turn, coarse fabric fell over my head.

Then something hit the back of my legs and I fell to my knees. Someone grabbed my arms and wrenched them behind my back. I manage to yelp before something hit the side of my head, hard. Nothing followed but blackness.

Notes From TryToDoItWrite

Wow! I have nothing negative to say about your plot or characters! It was all v. nice, as usual :) The only thing are little grammar/flow things that are easily fixed. side note: these are all opinion type things so don't feel obligated to change anything. I'll just go in order:

• It is imperative that when giving orders to troops that one does – “Erion!” Eline shook my shoulder and pulled me out of my textbook.
  I would actually make the passage out of the book longer in order to give the feel that he actual is sucked into the book and Eline is really jolting him out of it.

• Her hand was balled into a fist and it she was trembling ever so slightly.
  I have a feeling you didn't mean to say "it" right there

• Eline was going to tell me something devastating, I could feel it in my bones.
  I'd separate these out into two sentences or with a semi colon. they are two complete thoughts and thus cannot be connected by a comma. (im a grammar nazi im sorry)

• The hairs on the back of my neck were standing on end and looking at her was like trying to look at the sun. Unbearable.
  Again, im a grammar nazi. Fragments are okay in my book in dialog and not much else. Lots of the great writers do fragments in narrative, but, as my english teachers always said to me, until you are a great, you have to follow the rules just to show people that you know them.
  you'll have to connect the last word to the sentence with a em dash, like so:
  The hairs on the back of my neck were standing on end and looking at her was like trying to look at the sun—unbearable.

• Gods above and below. I was going to break her heart.
  Comma instead of period here. It's not a complete thoughts, but something to add emphasis.

• But this was worse. So much worse.
  Dash again.

• Sweat was starting to bead on my forehead. Why was
  I sweating?
  I would delete the question here. It's kinda obvious why he's sweating, and it would be even to himself, so it doesn't make lots of sense.

• Even the way she moved was like that, she always looked like she had somewhere to be.
  I'd use a dash here. Don't be afraid of the dash. The dash is your best friend, along with it's cousin the colon and it's twin sister the semi colon.

• There was only the low hum of friendship. It was a gentle warmth of a hearth on a cold day or of cookies straight from the oven.
  Nothing to critique here. Just wanted to say that I LovEd this bit here! I could feel it!!! Awesome keep it uppp!!

• “What? No! I –” I interrupted
  I'd delete "I interrupted." its pretty obvious that he did and it makes the whole thing flow smoother without it in my opinion

• Then something hit the back of my knees and I buckled.
  I wouldn't say "I buckled" because really it's his legs doing the buckling so i'd change it to that. or even "Then something hit the back of my legs and I fell to my knees." Idk, but the sentence needs tweaking.