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Arrival
I stared down at the old letter in my hands, the paper yellow with age and so fragile I feared pulling it from the decorated envelope it had been delivered in. When I was a child it just appeared one morning on my nightstand, an invitation to the Order of the Starhearts. But I didn’t know what that was then, and I couldn’t find any information no matter how hard I looked – books, the internet, nothing.
So the letter had been packed away with some other things, kept out of sight and out of mind for most of my life. Truth be told I had completely forgotten its existence, and even if I had remembered I hadn’t seen the letter in years. If one had asked I might have said it was probably still in my mother’s possession in a box with school projects and other things of the sort, or maybe she threw it out when she moved. But somehow, as if by magic, that day as I pulled an old storage container out from under my bed and was going through the contents, I found it. Tucked away inside a book I was thinking of handing over to my house mates to sell, the gap in the pages telling me something was there.
From the east I heard it, a bell ringing so loud and clear that it shook my very bones. I didn’t live near a church, there was no reason for that sound to have echoed through the air, and yet I knew even as I turned to look that my house mates did not hear it. No, this was a sound just for me. A summoning to the Order of the Starhearts.
That same day I packed what I could fit in a backpack; a few changes of clothes, my laptop, and what little was left that had sentimental value to me. I told my house mates I would keep in touch, and that I would return, but some part of me felt the lie in those words. Once I was out that door I would not be coming back. I will always be thankful to them for taking me in after everything that happened, of course, but I was headed to a better place.
I began to walk. Every now and again the bell would ring again, a clear note off in the distance as if guiding me. Whenever I felt lost, or I felt as if I could not make the journey, that sound would echo and I would find the strength to pick up and keep going. Out of the city in which I lived, following wherever that chime would take me. I don’t know how long I walked, or how far. My feet blistered, my body ached, my mind was in a haze. But still I walked, pushing past everything until…I saw it.
Trees rose up all around me like great pillars standing against the weight of the world. The trunks were so wide I could not have wrapped my arms around them, their foliage so thick that what light did reach through was deeply shaded. I don’t remember when I arrived in such a place, the scent of decay from the fallen leaves and the fungus that grew from fallen tree branches hitting me all at once as I seemed to emerge from the haze to stare up at the tree houses that had been built there.
It was like something out of the concept art I saw for elven cities, or like the tree bases I used to build in video games. The trunks supported massive platforms high off the ground, and on those platforms had been built dwellings, connected to one another through rope bridges and walkways. Soft strings of fairy lights wove around the place, keeping it a dimly lit twilight with the sun above barely making it through the leaves. The whole place crackled with a magical energy unlike anything I had ever felt, and I didn’t even realize in that moment what had happened to me. But I knew I was home, truly home, and in time I would meet the others that had been summoned here too.
I walked to one of the trees and climbed a rope ladder. The rough wood dug into my bare hands and the whole thing had an unsteady sway to it, but that didn’t deter me as I pulled myself up onto the platform and walked to a nearby door. It had no markings, and no lights on inside to indicate that anyone was there. As I touched the doorknob a glowing light began to etch into the door, forming complicated swirls across the wooden surface until I recognized my name – Sigil.
Was that my name? It was the one I gave to people on the internet, and even how I had been introducing myself for years in the real world, but it was never my birth name. The name I hated because it had been given to me by those who only pretended to care for me as long as I was serving their needs. As soon as it was clear that I was disabled and would never be what they wanted I was tolerated and little else, and so the name came to be one I associated with that concept. That I was tolerated, but nothing more. That I would never amount to anything useful.
And yet in that moment, as I saw the name I had chosen for myself scrawled across the door in those beautiful letters, I couldn’t remember the name I hated so much. It was gone, and what memories I had of using it felt distant as if I had somehow finally been able to escape the weight they forced upon my shoulders.
Sigil. That was me, that was my name.
Almost in recognition of this the door swung open, and inside I saw the room that was straight out of my dreams. Light purple painted walls, black carpet, a few windows with blackout curtains. A bed pressed into a nook in the wall so that only one side was exposed, that side having a curtain I could pull shut to keep the rest of the world out as I slept. A desk to work at, one of those old wooden ones beautifully painted to match the room, and more of those soft fairy lights from outside strung across the ceiling. A door to one side led into a small bathroom, and on the other to a small kitchen with doors to a balcony.
I looked around and realized that aside from the bed and some basic appliances the whole place was unfurnished, but that was fine. Somehow I knew that in time I would have the chance to get what I needed to turn the room into a home. I put my backpack down in the room before heading to the bathroom, feeling the need to clean up after whatever journey I had gone on to reach this place.
In the mirror above the sink I finally noticed how I looked. Disheveled, my hair a disaster, bits of dirt clinging to my skin, my clothes not changed since I had left. But also pale, more so than I had ever been. My dark brown hair had turned white, my blue eyes now a pale milky color. Even the shape of my face seemed to have changed, the features smoothing out, and I realized just how much clothes that had once fit me comfortably now sagged.
Where there should have been panic, however, I only felt a sense of security. I was a blank slate now, able to change to become whoever I wanted to be. As I removed my clothes and stepped into the warmth of the shower I felt myself changing. In my mind’s eye I saw the form I wanted, and my body responded. I stepped out, wiping the fog off the mirror and looking at myself. Pale lavender skin, lighter even than the color of the walls, and softly glowing icy eyes were my reflection now, a pair of horns carefully curled against my head. My hair felt heavy as it pressed into my back, the ends now reaching my waist, and with a practiced ease I took the brush I had pulled from my backpack and began the process of undoing all the tangles.
Soon enough the long strands were braided and pulled into a crown around my head, tucked neatly against the horns. I wrapped a towel around myself and sat on the bed, taking the time to paint my nails that were now long and shaped like claws. I put on a dress from the closet, breathing easy as the fabric fell around me and the boots by the door were easy to slip into. As I stepped out into the firelight of the setting sun others had come out too, some chatting as they all walked in the same direction; towards the largest tree that sat in the center of the various others scattered about.
I could see lights on inside, pulsing in time with the music that thumped softly, mixing perfectly with the chatter of the crowd. I walked with a confidence I had never been able to find before, the letter held carefully in one hand.
“And who might you be?” A pastel-glitter colored demon asked me at the door.
“I…I am Sigil.” I handed the letter over, somehow now as fresh as the day I had received it.
“Welcome Sigil. I am Duskrynn Pennyrime, and I welcome you to the Order of the Starhearts.”
As she said those words I felt…home. I gave Penny a smile and walked in so others could follow, eagerly looking forward to meeting new friends and starting my life anew as the person I had always wished I could be.
******
Ritual
As the first full moon rose outside the Order of the Starhearts our first ritual was also upon us. There had been much discussion in the week leading up to the evening about what we might do during that time, but eventually it was decided we would simply have a movie night.
The kitchen was where I had always felt most at home, cooking for the others here had always given me a sense of self, of purpose. It was something I had always wanted to do in my life before, but I wasn’t allowed to do growing up, and the physical disabilities I used to have stopped me in my adult life. But here...here I am magic. Here those physical limitations don’t seem to affect me, and I am more capable as long as I put my mind to it. Spending my days making meals for others, my evenings relaxing and not worrying about all the stuff I left behind. I had some thoughts about the internet friends that likely worried about what had happened to me, the discord server whose ownership I had transferred to someone else, the online communities I had abandoned, but…I didn’t care.
That life was a heavy mixture of all the trauma I had endured and what good had been there to balance it out. I liked the good, but I had always said that I would leave it all behind if I could forget the trauma. I got my wish by joining the Starhearts, and I don’t regret it.
Anyway, the ritual. So I had spent enough time in the kitchen to know what each person liked. Many, it seemed, had come from the United Kingdom where I had grown up in the United States so there was a level of adjustment to be made for the food, and Penny and a few others had dietary restrictions for one reason or another, but the kitchen made it easy to adjust and cook to everyone’s preferences.
There was plenty of gluten free options, as well as vegan, vegetarian, and meat dishes. A few had been made with considerations for diabetes/low sugar/low carb diets as well, and for good measure I made sure that there was plenty of moon cider to go around; a lovely 1:1 mixture of grape juice and apple cider heated with some mulling spices and alcohol on the side if anyone wanted to drink. I had made the regular versions and a low sugar version, and everyone seemed happy with the contributions while others more specialized in the making of actual alcoholic cocktails and foods pitched in as well.
Soon enough food was ready, and he main hall was decorated. Couches and chairs all pushed together in a circle near a sheet hung on the wall as a projection screen, and the floor littered with pillows and beanbags for those who preferred to make themselves comfortable in that way. I made sure everything was laid out and labeled before grabbing a bowl of soup, a plate of crackers, and a cup of moon cider with a few shots of raspberry vodka for good measure. There were a few low coffee tables for the floor people as well, and I set my treats on one such table before gathering a few cushions and settling in.
Someone else joined me after a few moments, another member I had grown close to in my time spent among the Starhearts - Fin. Unlike people in my life before, she understood. She was respectful of my want for cuddling and touch while not wanting sexual contact. She asked before kissing me, respected when I said no, and always made sure I felt safe. As Fin set her own food down and pulled up a few cushions I leaned towards her, then against her as she didn’t move or say no.
We spent the night like that, just cuddled up on the floor among beanbags and blankets, separating to eat or drink for a few seconds before rejoining. I love her, and while that is something I say lightly as romantic love can come in all kinds of forms (love for friends, for family, etc), I mean it more than I ever have when it comes to Fin.
The movies ranged from mild horror and jump scares that easily had people startled and screaming to some not so scary Halloween themed movies, and we ended on the ever classic The Nightmare Before Christmas. I don’t even remember the last half of the movie, honestly, as I had fallen asleep in the arms of my beloved. I woke when she shifted, yawning heavily.
“The movie is over.” Fin whispered, helping me sit up.
“I’m sorry I fell sleep.” I murmured.
“Don’t be, you were here early to help cook and I know you were drinking a bit.” She teased. “Can I kiss you?”
I nodded, and our lips collided for a few brief moments before she pulled back and pressed another gentle kiss to my cheek.
“Come on, you need to get real sleep in your actual bed.” She stood, helping me up as the world spun just a bit and I was obviously quite unsteady.
“Yeah I do.” I laughed, feeling the slight buzz from the alcohol I had consumed. “Will...Will you stay with me tonight?” I asked nervously.
“Of course I will. Come on.” Fin's hands were warm as they took mine, slowly leading me out of the main clubhouse and along the walkways among the trees until we reached my room. The door opened at my touch as it always did, the room beyond not much more than what I had first brought with me but feeling much more lived In than it did when I had originally arrived.
I fell into my bed, feeling the soft embrace of the sheets. I felt her tugging at my clothes, stripping me to my underwear before stripping herself and climbing in with me, holding me from behind. Our skin touching, causing my brain to emit the happy chemicals that came from such close contact. I yawned and fell asleep again, barely aware of anything until I woke up the next morning still in her arms.
“Good morning.” Fin murmured, light from the nearby window falling across her skin like a radiant golden glow.
“Good morning.” I yawned in return, shaking my head.
“Can I kiss you?” She asked, and I nodded. We made out for a little bit before going back to cuddling.
Eventually we got up and I made a basic breakfast, and we ate quietly before she dressed and left. It was nice, but she had a job to do and so did I. As much as I wished I could stay here forever and do nothing, I knew that would drive me insane. So I grabbed just a basic tanktop with an overcoat and some pajama pants, slipping into my shoes and heading back to the clubhouse to start on breakfast for everyone else.
Someone else had cleaned up overnight, thankfully, though there were still clean dishes to put away and everything else that needed to be done. But I tied on my apron, fired up the stove, and got to work. As people began to file in there was coffee ready and I started taking orders, putting myself into that headspace for the time being and going about my day as usual.
******
Ember
It took a few days after the first ritual to realize what had happened. And I know to some a movie night with homemade foods and whatnot may not seem like much of a ritual, but really anything is magic if you do it right. Sitting and meditating for 15 minutes is technically a ritual, stirring your morning coffee can be a ritual if you want it to be. The energy gathered by the creation of food for others to enjoy, the conversations that were had, the physical contact, the emotions that the movies elicited, it was all magic and when focused effort was put in place to pull that magic together it became a ritual.
Unfortunately as an unintended side effect something ended up getting summoned. I came in one morning and found the kitchen wrecked, and I knew I had cleaned up the night before. Sure it was open all the time, and people could have come in during the night to eat or do whatever, but everyone I knew in the Starhearts was respectful of the communal spaces and knew better than to leave especially the kitchen completely trashed like that.
No, something else had to be at play here. And as I began cleaning up I eventually found the culprit; a large rabbit curled up in one corner, a singular horn sticking out of its forehead and a crescent moon shape on its hips. A lunar rabbit, which made sense all things considered; I grew up on the stories of the Man in the Moon, the Japanese have lore about moon rabbits, and we had done the ritual under a full moon. All the energy concentrated must have created or summoned the creature either on that day or sometime in the night after taking its time to do so, and being just an animal it did what animals do and had just gone about with no regard for the humanoid things around it.
“Well hey little guy.” I murmured softly, holding out a hand. Rabbits weren’t pets I had owned before, and I really didn’t know what to do, but I was surprised when it made its way over and put its head in my hands as if asking for pets. Which of course I happily gave as it flopped onto its side, a sign I knew meant it felt safe and comfortable.
“Sigil, are you in yet?” I heard Penny call as she opened the door, and I stood up from behind half wall that looked into the kitchen before waving at her.
“Good morning Penny!” I replied with a smile, looking down a the rabbit as it proceeded to nuzzle into my legs.
“Am I too early for some tea?” She asked, taking a seat at one of the tables.
“A bit, I just got in and…Well, here.” I walked out of the kitchen, letting the rabbit follow me.
“What is that?” Penny blinked in surprise.
“I don’t know, but I think our ritual may have summoned it. But it’s really cute and super friendly, and I was going to ask you if I can keep it.” After all Penny led the Starhearts, and I knew I’d have to run this by her.
“Sure, just keep it out of the kitchen.”
“Thanks Penny, you’re the best. I’ll get some water going for tea!” I headed back for the kitchen, shutting the door behind me this time to keep the rabbit out. Which seemed just fine for the creature as it hopped over and settled itself under Penny’s table like a dog.
Soon enough I had a kettle on and had finished cleaning up after the mess the rabbit made, putting the pot, cup, tea bags, honey and sugar on a tray and bringing it out for Penny before heading back in to make some cinnamon buns for breakfast. A small batch of gluten and dairy free for Penny, a batch of the regular ones, and a small batch that used other spices for the few people we had that didn’t like cinnamon or had an allergy to it.
I also made more moon cider, finding it appropriate given the time of year and the appearance of the rabbit. As people began to show up for breakfast and order they also noticed the creature, lavishing it with plenty of affection while they waited. With a bit of help from the magic of the place I was able to make rabbit-shaped omelets and breakfast sandwiches, and even pancakes and waffles shaped like rabbit faces.
As breakfast wound down and I came back out to eat my own lunch I also brought some greens and vegetables in a bowl, having done a bit of research during the lulls in order to see what the creature could eat and how to care for it. I still had a lot to do in that regard, but it was good enough for now as I set the bowl of greens and another filled with water under the table for it.
“I take it he’s been good all morning?” I half-teased at Penny, who was still there.
“He has. Even went over to the door and asked to be let out a few times. Just wandered around, I think, but always came back.” She looked up from the book she was reading, then under the table. “So, what are you going to name him?”
“I haven’t even thought about names yet, I’ve been busy researching how to look after him.” I sighed, taking a swig of my coffee and shaking my head.
“That’s fair.” Penny nodded.
“I thought about lunar-themed names but that just seems so...predictable?” I shrugged. “Same with rabbit names. I thought about Usagi or something like that, but it just doesn’t seem right. I think in time they’ll express themselves a bit more, and I’ll figure something out.”
We ate in silence and Penny left after she was finished with the pot of tea. I finished my lunch and cleaned up, then left a note that I wouldn’t be cooking dinner but there were some leftovers for people if they didn’t want to cook or no one else did. I was exhausted somehow, and the rabbit was on my mind as he followed me out the door.
Back in my room I sat down to my computer and began to research. He wasn’t a traditional rabbit by any means, but this was the best option I had at the moment as he settled by my feet and I was able to almost forget he existed.
I spent the afternoon getting things set up for him. I had found out that to an extent my room would mold itself to fit as I pleased, and I used that to my advantage. I made a smaller door in the main door so he could go in and out as he pleased, a part of the room that was a little lower than the rest with some blankets draped around so he had a nice, dark, quiet place to go if he felt like it, and a feeding station with fresh rotating water like a fountain and a bowl I could put food for him. Also a small set of stairs going up to my bed, because as I went to lay down for a nap he tried to hop up a few times and then thumped angrily when he couldn’t get there to get my attention. The stairs made it easy so he could climb in and cuddle up to me, almost like a dog I had once owned.
“You’re weird for a rabbit.” I mused as I held him softly like a stuffed animal and drifted off to sleep.
Then I dreamed. I dreamed that he was there, but in a more humanoid form. Cuddled next to me in bed, radiating the same warmth as Fin. I reached up and gently touched his ears, smiling as he thumped his leg a little bit.
“So this is your real form, huh?” I asked, looking up at him. He said nothing, just nodding, and suddenly my brain was flooded with what I can only describe as memories.
Others like him, living in an area of trees much like the ones where the Starhearts lived now. Maybe even the same place, I couldn’t quite tell. Then a panicked feeling in my chest, like the world was collapsing around me. Fire in the sky, and the trees screaming as they burned. Then darkness, nothing but darkness. The smell of food, the laughter of a small group, and the sounds of familiar movie lines. And then I understood what had happened, and why he was there.
“Your home was destroyed and you were cast into darkness, but our ritual acted like a beacon and drew you out.” I murmured, watching him nod slowly at me. “I see. Well, I’m happy to have you and if you need anything just tell me okay? And...I’ll talk to Penny, see if we can set something up to rescue the others. If we even can, I don’t know if they might still be around in that place or if we can reach them. But if we can, we will. I promise.” I felt his arms tighten around me, his way of saying ‘thank you’ and I hugged him back.
When I woke it was close to dinner time, but I simply made a quick dinner of pasta and sauce in my room and put out some more vegetables for him. Ember was his name, I knew now, and I would tell the others that later. For now I wasn’t really tired, and the dream had me wishing for a piece of my old life as I logged into the familiar MMO and stared at my original account. I couldn’t go back to playing the character I had everything on, that would just alert old friends to where I was, so I headed for another server and set myself up there. I’d have to replay the game, farm, buy old event items, and put in a lot of work to get back to where I had been and even then it would not be the same because I would not have the friends, the group, the house, and so much more but I knew that was just a chance to make new memories, new friends, find new ways to do things.
“What do you think, Ember?” I asked as I stared down my choice of characters for the creation process, smiling as he hopped over and headed up the little stairs to settle in my lap. Though not before I felt the strong tug towards a particular appearance – his appearance, as he had shown himself to me in the dream before. I knew what he wanted and I was fine with that as I went through the process of putting it all together and settled on the final appearance before launching the game. I could play for hours, sleep a bit, and resume breakfast and food duties the next day as usual with him by my side.
******
Jade
I told Penny about Ember and what happened to him and his people, but alas there was little we could do for them. We tried a more focused ritual but it seemed as if he was the only one able to survive, the rest were just too lost for us to pull back from that darkness. I knew he was sad and lonely, even if he tried not to show it as the days following the news we were unsuccessful saw him hanging out in my room more often instead of coming with me to the main hall for meals or out with me for walks.
I spent a lot of that time wishing I could have done something for him, and the magic that surrounded the place answered me. I woke one morning to Ember pushing against my face carefully, eagerly trying to get my attention despite the early hour. At first I was annoyed, but when I opened my eyes and saw the creature that had curled up in his space I gasped in surprise.
A small dragon, green as the leaves on the trees outside. It bore two heads and eyes of a stunning golden color that blinked up at me as it stretched. Wings full of holes unfurled and twin tails twined around one another as it stood and made its way up the stairs I had built for Ember before curling up next to me.
“Did you make a friend?” I half-jokingly asked of the rabbit, sighing as he nodded and then went to curl up with the dragon.
While the hour was early it was one I was used to being up at so I left the pair to sleep as I pulled myself up, showered, and dressed – a soft green hoodie over a grey shirt with some mushrooms on it and the phrase “Grow Your Own Way”, and a pair of rust brown pants with little mushrooms on them. Warm enough to keep me from freezing as I made my way over to the main building but light enough to be comfortable there once I took the hoodie off and started breakfast.
“Good morning Penny.” I greeted the leader of the Starhearts as I came in, finding her already there with a cup of tea.
“Good morning Sigil.” Penny replied in her usual chipper tone, full of sparkles and glitter.
“So, Ember found a dragon.” I hung my hoodie up on the coat rack and went into the kitchen for my apron, talking to Penny through the cutout in the wall that separated the main room from the kitchen.
“A dragon?”
“Yeah. Little thing with green scales. They’re curled up in my bed right now. Oh, do you want cinnamon rolls?”
“Yes please.” I heard the smile on her lips as she continued to drink her tea. “Do you think it’s one of his people?”
“I’m honestly not sure. But it seems friendly enough, and I figure in time I might dream again like I did with Ember and know the truth. Seems to be the way of things around here.”
“Indeed. Or this place may have manifested the dragon for him. As I’m sure you’ve figured out by now the magic here can sense the wants and needs of those of us who call it home and it adjusts as necessary. Perhaps it sensed his want for one of his own and made that a reality in the closest way it can.”
“Perhaps. Time will tell, though.”
The conversation cut off as a few more people made their way in and placed orders that I got started on, the coffee already brewing and water boiling for tea as I mixed up a batch for cinnamon rolls and had started on the breakfast hash I was going to eat myself in between everyone else’s requests.
For the rest of the day all I could think of was that dragon. What was it, and where had it come from? My mind wandered in between needing to focus on cooking, but I couldn’t come up with any solid answers. Ember’s people had all been rabbits like him, so why a dragon? Even if I knew that Ember himself would likely tell me when he could the thought still lingered in my head as the day progressed.
Soon enough dinner was done and I boxed up some leftovers and headed back to my room. I trusted that Ember wouldn’t let anything happen, and I had my girlfriend check in on them when she could. A few pictures of the pair asleep on my bed had been sent as proof they were behaving, and that had put my mind at ease a bit.
“I’m home.” I said out of habit as I walked in, smiling at Ember and the dragon as they romped around on the floor play wrestling with one another. Both stopped when the door had opened for a moment then were right back at it, so I carefully stepped over them before sitting down at my desk and opening up my food. Teriyaki chicken strips, a few hush puppies and a side of mac and cheese. At least it wasn’t frozen processed junk like I used to live off of, and I ate while watching a few videos online from my favorite people before cleaning up.
By that point Ember was in his little hide and the dragon was on top of it, both curled up happily. I snapped a few photos of my own to post to the group discord for the other Starhearts, then changed and curled up in bed with the book I had been reading from the library. A beautiful place, seemingly endless, full of all the books in the world in all the languages. It had been nice to have access to that space, and to spend less time being addicted to the digital world as I had in the life I lived before joining the Starhearts.
Eventually I fell asleep with the book on my chest, and as with the first time I had slept with Ember in my arms I dreamed. I saw flashes of the trees, how they were sentient and allowed us to live among them because we protected them. The magic of the forest just as Penny had said, sensing the sorrow of Ember and knowing that if we could do nothing for him then they would. The formation of something that looked like a seed pod in the base of one of the trees, emerging from its root structure before hatching open with a sickening slimy sound as the dragon crawled out. Ember finding it and guiding it home to me.
The dragon wasn’t what Ember truly wanted, but it was close enough. Something his own size that he could play with and have as a friend to keep him company, where they could go off and have their own adventures amidst the trees. And I was happy for him, because he deserved that much after everything that had happened. His old life, just like that of any of the Starhearts, was behind him now and there was no going back. But the forest looked out for us, and it made our futures brighter.
I rolled over and felt Ember against my back, and the dragon...Jade. The name came as it had with Ember, just a feeling in my mind’s eye. Jade was there too, coiled up with her heads tucked under her tails as she dozed. I smiled and adjusted the blankets and pillows a little before falling back asleep myself, content knowing that Ember’s future would be a better one and Jade would look after him.
******
Snowball Fight
Soon enough winter came upon the Starhearts. The trees should have gone barren, but instead somehow maintained their leaves and that made an even more magical snowfall. Despite being from a place that always saw plenty of snow I still woke to that first coating and found a sense of wonder in it. Seemingly overnight the whole place went from green to white, and the cold settled in.
At some point Ember and Jade seemed to have found themselves. They spent less and less time with me and within the main building of the Starhearts and out and about in the forest. Honestly I was happy for them, though worried when I knew the weather was growing colder. Thankfully they had returned overnight and were now snuggled up in the little den I had made for Ember and I figured they might stay.
"Sigil!" I heard Penny knocking at my door as I was sorting out my clothes for the day. Despite being in my pajamas I was covered enough to feel comfortable opening the door, letting the glittery demon in out of the cold.
"Good morning Penny. Everything alright?" I tilted my head at her, knowing it was unusual for her to show up at such an hour.
"Perfect dear." Penny beamed. "But I did want to warn you we are planning for a snowball fight after breakfast, so you might want to have some extra tea and hot chocolate ready."
"Well, thank you for warning me. I will be sure to." I thought about my clothes again, making a mental note to pack my boots, snow pants, jacket, gloves, and hat.
"Of course. I have other people to inform so I'll see you at breakfast." Penny bowed and saw herself out, and as soon as the door shut I went back to my wardrobe.
Old snow pants and a jacket that had served me well for years stared back at me, even though I hadn't brought them with me on my initial journey to the Starhearts. I knew that the place had provided them based on my memories so they weren't the originals, but it was close enough. Heavy boots, loose enough to tuck the pants into, sat at the bottom along with some thick gloves tucked into each one and my hooded scarf was on a hanger. I quickly packed those into a bag before grabbing my normal wear of thick pants and a long-sleeved shirt that I threw a hoodie over in order to keep warm on my journey to the main building.
"You two behave, okay?" I looked at Ember and Jade, giving them a nod. "And if you do get into the fight just...don't get too rough." I teased, closing the door behind me and making my way over.
A few people had already gathered, serving themselves tea and coffee and some simple foods. I tied on my apron and began taking orders while getting a few more warm drinks going, making extras to be kept warm in their carafes until they were needed and some hot chocolate in slow cookers so it could be the real good kind instead of the powdered kind if people wanted that while there was plenty of warm water for tea and warm milk for other hot chocolate.
Soon enough breakfast was over and people began to file outside, chattering excitedly. My beloved was there too, dressed up and waiting for me as I walked out pulling on my gloves.
"You ready?" She asked with a grin.
"Oh, more than ready. I grew up in a place that saw this kind of snow every winter, remember?" I teased.
"Fair enough. May I kiss you for good luck?"
"You may." I grinned as we kissed briefly before parting, holding hands as we headed down the walkway to the forest floor to join the others who were already lining up and getting ready to fight.
There didn't seem to be much in the way of organization, just everyone picking random teams. I found a good spot and began setting up, quickly building a wall of snow to hide behind while Fin started to make snowballs so we had a good amount saved up. I saw the sparkle around them and knew that the snowballs would explode like a glitter bomb when they made impact, and that would get everywhere. We wouldn't be the only ones doing such enchantments, of course, but at least that would just make it more fun.
"Ready?" Penny called from one of the walkways up in the trees. What answered was a roar of cheers, hoots, hollers, and other noises as we all affirmed we were good to go.
"Before we begin, a few guidelines." She continued. "You can quit at any time, there's no shame in it. There's no winners either unless you want to count last man standing but there's no prize beyond bragging rights. The medical people are hanging out in the main building if you do accidentally get hurt." Her eyes scanned around, looking at us all to make sure we were taking it seriously before she nodded.
"BEGIN!" Her voice boomed over seemingly the whole forest, and we all quickly began to throw snowballs. Some impacted trees or the various barriers that had been put up, and others found their target in the various people. Glitter and colors were everywhere as the enchanted snowballs exploded, and people dropped out left and right as they became cold or were hit in particularly unpleasant places.
I gave up about half way through, my fingers and face numb from the snow and wind. Making my way back inside I was offered a cup of hot chocolate by Penny with the ever-present smile on her face and I took it with a tired smile.
"Someone else who wasn't in the fight is manning the kitchen, so you're good. Go warm up dear." She patted me on the back and I nodded before heading off to strip out of my heavy winter gear and settle in.
By lunch the fight was over, the resident artificer having won by building a catapult out of snow that somehow functioned just like all his other insane creations. I didn't feel like getting up though, settled in a corner under a kotatsu table with a few mugs of tea to help soothe my aching joints. For all the magic the Starhearts headquarters had it couldn't cover up everything after all.
"You good for dinner?" Penny asked as she wandered by.
"Probably not." I yawned. "I just want sleep, so I'll make something at my place. Kitchen's covered." We had a few others capable of cooking and I knew I could trust them.
"Fair enough. Thanks for prepping the extra hot drinks, I know that made things easier for everyone." Penny reached out and ruffled my hair before taking off.
I took a few extra moments to finish my tea before bundling up and making my way home. Ember and Jade were gone, but I was used to that by now and settled for putting more hot water for tea and drawing a warm bath in the tub. My snow clothes were set aside for another day and I stripped as the kettle whistled. Poured into a pot with some loose leaf tea that I brought into the bathroom on a little tray with my favorite mug before I stepped into the warm water with a bath bomb.
Even little things like this I enjoyed because in my old life I never could have. A tub big enough to soak in, no one around to mind the bath bomb smell or judge me...things I didn't have back then. Another reminder of everything the Starhearts did for me, and why I loved being with them so much. It wasn't perfect, but it was home.
******
Skijoring
"Skijoring?" Penny looked at me like I was crazy, which was something all things considered.
"Yeah! You put on skis and grab a rope tied to the saddle of a horse and whoever's riding the horse just takes off at top speed. It's great!"
"Well I guess as far as potential sports for the winter tournament that's unique." She laughed.
"If we announce it now people will have time to practice too."
"Fine. But we are putting up a warning that it's dangerous."
"I wouldn't have it any other way." I smiled as Penny headed off to ask others about their ideas, honestly thinking I'd have to fight harder for that particular plan.
Skijoring wasn't something I'd ever done, but it sounded like so much fun and I knew we had a few people in the Starhearts that liked horses and horse racing. The summer games had included some horse riding with the barrels and a few horse races, so why not include them in the winter ones?
A few days later the official notice for the winter tournament was out and I almost laughed when I saw skijoring was on the list along with a few more traditional ones such as snowboarding and skiing and an actual snowball fight with dodgeball rules inspired by the previous free for all.
"I take it you need me to be the horse rider?" My beloved came up behind me, wrapping me up in her arms and putting her head on top of mine as she stared at the listing.
"If you would?" I half asked, half begged.
"So when do we begin practice?"
"Now?"
Fin nodded, letting go and taking my hand to lead me outside. She had a horse and had always been a good racer, and I figured skijoring wouldn't be much of a challenge. In fact figuring out the rope setup for the saddle was the biggest hurdle, and once we had that out of the way I grabbed a snowboard and we started practicing. While skis were traditional a snowboard was an option, and the tournament was split between the two anyway. I knew I wouldn't have as many issues on a snowboard as I would with skis anyway, even if a snowboard was it's own beast I had to learn how to tackle.
For the next few weeks I was busier than usual between making sure the kitchen was staffed and run in my absence and trying to get in as much practice as I could. Most nights I went to bed with aches and pains and at one point I was worried I had actually broken something but thankfully the medic said it was just a tissue injury that would heal. He did advise I take it easy but I knew once the tournament was over I'd have time to recover - another thing I never could have managed in my old life. An injury like this could have set me back months or longer, but now it was just a few days of some pain and then I'd be fine.
Finally the day of the race came. Horses and riders and skiers and snowboarders lined up at the starting point, ready to go. Those not participating sitting in the stands nearby to watch, cheering on their favorites. Penny even allowed some small betting just for fun at the insistence of a few others who wanted such a thing. I held tight to the rope in front of me, facing sideways so my snowboard would go when the time came.
The starter pistol's shot was almost deafening despite the snow all around us dampening sounds. Fin kicked her horse and forward we went, the initial tension in the rope almost yanking me off my feet like it had done in practice. I managed to stay upright and focus, carving a path for myself as I went around the same obstacles as the horse and even veering off a little to take some ramps and get some jumps in to pull off a few stunts that I knew would win some points with the crowd - I had to make this look effortless.
After one last jump the finish line was in sight and I held on as the horse was spurred to run faster and faster to outpace our competition, pulling the rope in so there was less between us as we approached the end. First horse and snowboarder to cross by just a fraction of a second as the crowd cheered and I felt the pride and adrenaline override any exhaustion I was feeling at that moment as I threw my arms in the air.
Honestly after that I don't remember too much except waking up the next morning in bed snuggling with Ember and Jade. Getting up hurt as my skin sported the purple-black bruises of practice and competition and my shoulders and back ached from holding the rope as I had been, but I wore a goofy smile on my face regardless because I knew I had won. And with another day of winter sporting competitions on it was time to make breakfast, dress warm, and help man the station handing out hot drinks for everyone watching which also meant I'd get plenty of warm tea and hot chocolate to help soothe the aches and pains.
******
Cultmas
Winter deepened, and before I knew it Penny was talking about a winter festival. In my old life this would have been Christmas and a celebration of the Winter Solstice, but given the varied nature of the Starhearts and attempts to separate ourselves from that world it was understandable that most wanted something different. The idea of sharing gifts with the people we loved was great but the rest was...well, better left behind.
"When I lived with my family we would have the huge family Christmas on the 24th with everyone, all the aunts and uncles and cousins, and then the 25th was for the individual families to have their day." I looked at Penny, sighing and shaking my head. "Better times, as it were. But I think we could do something similar. This year the Winter Solstice is on the twenty first, and I think we could arrange something on the twentieth for the whole group and then encourage individual celebrations on the day of the actual Solstice."
"I think that's a wonderful idea." Penny beamed. "What about a gift exchange?"
"White Elephant style?" I took a sip of my tea as she tilted her head. "Everyone brings an unusual gift and draws numbers out of a hat. Then in order they can decide if they want to pick a mystery gift or steal a gift from someone else, and sometimes the rules are that a gift can only be stolen once or twice and when everyone's had a turn those who had their gifts stolen can decide to steal again or pick up another mystery gift. It's...not as complicated as it sounds." I laughed.
"And it ensures everyone gets something they like." Penny nodded in agreement.
I thought about past experiences with Secret Santa type events and I could tell she was too. They were nice, but if you didn't know much about the person it was hard to make it fun. Doubly so if there were an odd amount of people, or if someone couldn't show up or just didn't bother to get a gift for the other person. Which wasn't likely to happen within the Starhearts, but one never knew. At least with White Elephant people often exchanged afterwards if they really got stuck with something they didn't like and it usually worked out pretty well.
"So, that settles it. We'll have a party with some food and movies the day before and the gift exchange, and encourage people to have individual celebrations day of." Penny broke the silence.
"Great. Do you want me to make posters and such explaining?" I asked, setting down the empty mug.
"It'd be wonderful if you did, thank you."
With that said I got up and gathered our mugs to go wash out in the kitchen, then headed back to my room. I pulled up some editing software and quickly made a few mock-ups of posters for the event, then sent them over to Penny. We spent the day going back and forth, tweaking and editing, until it was just right. Then I printed up quite a few of them up and headed out to put them up in the common areas, on people's doors, and handed a few out to anyone I saw along the way.
A few weeks later the day was upon us. I woke up early and made sure the gift I had prepared was wrapped and ready and made my way to the kitchen in order to start the cooking. Breakfast orders as usual but plenty of cookies in between and a full feast fit for the Solstice in the background; a few large turkeys with stuffing, pork chops with cranberry sauce, chex mix, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes with gravy, sweet potato casserole with marshmallows, broccoli with cheese sauce, and some bread rolls along with peach crisp, apple pie, mixed berry pie, pumpkin pie and sweet potato pie. Add to that a few vegan and gluten free options and I certainly had my hands full but thankfully I was not alone, and thankfully my body was in shape for it in this incarnation.
Movies played in the main room, mostly holiday specials and such, and I hummed along to holiday music in the kitchen. Honestly? It was the most fun I had ever had for a holiday party, even from the memories of the time spent with my family when I was younger. The people stopping by to grab cookies as they came out of the oven and giving compliments just gave me the motivation I needed to keep going.
Dinner was wonderful when it was all finished, and then the gift exchange started. We all set our gifts together in a pile and drew numbers from the hat - my contribution was a small box of my favorite cook books, mostly about how to cook on a budget or spice up otherwise bland meals. As the gifts were revealed and stolen I could see the enjoyment of the people partaking, and in turn I felt the warmth of the people I had come to call my family.
In the end I wasn't surprised when it was one of our newer members who walked away with the cook books, and I in turn ended up with a basket of bath supplies; some bath bombs and salts, body wash, scrubs, things of that sort. Having a tub I could soak in and often finding myself there made it the perfect gift, stashed with the others I had acquired.
The following day I spent alone, just relaxing. A few games I loved were running holiday events I took time to do what I could for, and I ate leftovers for the most part. Ember and Jade were gone, but I was growing used to that as the days passed. Fin stopped by for dinner and a night spent together, I woke up the day after in her arms and happily slept in to enjoy the warmth while cold winter settled into the forest. We had started a new tradition for the Starhearts, and I knew it was one that would persist for as long as we existed.