Eliana's hands were still shaking when she reached for the door to the library, a haunted look cast over her shoulder. They were there, again. The angels, their cold eyes and expressionless faces watching her everywhere she went. It had started after her second class, when she could feel the touch of a hand on the back of her neck, that stupid shadow once again targeting her. She knew they were fake, of course. It had been three months since her first attack and Alex's explanation. Still, they terrified her. It was like the shadow was targeting her, specifically. 

They had almost cornered her in the bathrooms, and the memory of that incident had brought up the terror from her younger years. The bathrooms were where the Father had always trapped her, his false-angels right behind. Carry had walked in right then, saving her. They had yet to touch her, and Eliana wasn't interested in finding out if they could.

She also was far from interested in working on a project with Markus. But if she could just make it through an hour with him, with Dahlia and Alex's help--

"Neriara's sun queen finally joins us. How absolutely lovely. Too busy touching up your makeup in the bathroom mirror to join us?"

Nope. She couldn't do this. Not today.

Face as carefully blank as possible, Eliana looked between the smirking Markus and her friends sitting at the same table, who both looked exasperated already. A split second decision was made, and she didn't bother responding before turning around and walking out of the library.

"Eli!" Dahlia's voice carried after her, and her footsteps follow as Eliana made it a few steps from the door before an arm wrapped around her wrist. She froze, briefly, and she couldn't tell if Dahlia let go because she noticed or not. Her friend stood with the door open, brown eyes worried. "Wait, please, we need to just get this done--"

"I won't leave you to do it alone." Eliana's heart clenched at the cold tone to her voice. "You and Alex don't deserve that. You can have your meetings, tell me what to do, and I'll do it. Hell, give me half the overall work to make up for it. I don't care. But I'm not stepping foot within speaking distance of that asshole." 

Shaking. Her hands wouldn't stop shaking. Maybe the cold, biting edge to her voice was a defense mechanism. That was the phrase Ms. Williams had used, right? Defense. To hide from what scared her. And right now she was so, so scared. 

"Eli, I get it, he's an ass. But it's just an hour, and then you can ignore him again." 

She had waited for Dahlia to finish speaking, not wanting to interrupt her again. There was no changing her mind. Not now. Not when she could feel the eyes on her. Could see the shadows out of the corner of her eye creeping in and watching. Why was it always watching her? 

"No, Dahl. I can't do it. I can't. I wanted to and I wanted to try but it's not--" Eliana took in a shaky breath with a shake of her head, reaching up to tug a shaking hand through her hair. "I don't have the energy. I haven't been able to sleep in weeks, and I feel like everywhere I go I'm looking over my shoulder and I am so not in the mood to play bitchy cheerleader to his pathetic main character syndrome. I can't do it. I won't. Not today. I've put up with his shit for years, and I just want a god damn break. Just one day without the remarks, without him acting like he knows anything about me."

Eyes wide, Dahlia opened her mouth and closed it again, like she couldn't figure out what to say. Of course she couldn't. Eliana had sat through Markus' barbed comments for years without more than a comeback. She had taken it, knowing that she couldn't expect to make everyone like her and frankly not caring much if he did or not. But she'd had enough, right now. 

"Sun queen. You heard him. I made it a foot in the door and he couldn't keep his damn mouth shut. I was trying. I had every intention of trying and he ruined it. And all for some made up, bullshit rivalry that he created! In his head the second he met me! He didn't even have enough time to ask me where I was from, to learn my favorite color, before deciding he hated someone he didn't know. I don't know what his problem is besides being completely delusional--" Eliana said, her voice rising slightly as the shaking in her hands spread to her arms. 

She didn't want to be scared. She wanted to be angry, but she could hear the way her voice cracked every few words, could feel tears filling her eyes. 

"I was so fucking scared when I first came here, and I don't know why he decided it had to be me. I don't know why he's carried on with this for almost three years. But I'm done. I can't take this on top of those things following me, on top of the nightmares and the therapy and everything. He can pick someone else." She could feel the warmth of tears on her cheeks, and some part of her wanted to care. The rest of her couldn't. "I'm sorry. Give me the whole project if you need to. I'm going to-I need to talk to Ms. Williams." 

Shaking her head, she wrapped her arms around herself, leaving her speechless best friend behind as she headed down the hall. She would take her chances with the angels on the way. Distantly, she heard Dahlia's voice back in the library. 

Even with the mounting anxiety in her chest, she still felt relieved. It was palpable, the product of finally speaking up about Markus' relentless attacks. Though she doubted it would stop them completely, she could only hope for a day's peace. 

But she would take it.