Hello! My name is Sara and I’m from the United States. Recently my husband, son, and I moved to China for their economic strength and educational promises. We have heard so much about how smart their students are and how great of an opportunity it is to live there. We just thought we had to give it a shot. 
After a few weeks of living here in Shanghai, Frank, my husband, and I have learned a few interesting things. 
        For starters, our four year old son Jack is super busy with school. For a child in kindergarten I would think this would be too much work for him! He comes home everyday with a large sum of assignments and sometimes whole binders to organize for class the next day. It astonishes me that in Shanghai, this amount of work is very normal for a child of Jack’s age. 
        We have also discovered the amount of assistance and guidance a parent must provide for their child. Every night I spend hours helping Jack with his school work and his organization, sometimes even on weekends and holidays. It’s almost as if I am a student at the kindergarten as well! Although it is a huge commitment and responsibility, I enjoy being a part of his learning experience.
        Furthermore, we have also discovered the caretaker or ayi program. An ayi is a housekeeper or maid who also watches over the children during the day. Since Frank is gone at work most days and I have a writing job that requires attention throughout the day, we have learned that hiring an ayi might be a smart choice. 
        After about five weeks of settling in to our new home, I called a kind woman with the name of Janelle. 
        “Hello! My name is Sara. I recently moved here from America with my family and I have heard that hiring an ayi might be a helpful option. I am looking for a caretaker for my four year old son during the daytime. I was wondering if you had anyone who would be willing to come in for an interview later this week?” I offered.
        With a chirpy, higher pitched voice she answered, “Oh yes! We have many great ladies who would love to come help out! When would be a good time to schedule a meeting?”.
Grabbing my phone and looking through my calendar I replied, “Are you available this upcoming Thursday?”.
        “Yes! We will head over right after your child is finished with school to talk about our options!” she replied after reviewing her own and other ladies’ schedules.
        With a little burst of excited enthusiasm I smiled hopefully, “Great! Thank you so much!”
        After a few more minutes of sending addresses and learning more about the program I hung up the phone and headed off to help Jack with his nightly homework.
Finally it was Thursday evening and Jack and I were sitting at our kitchen table shuffling through homework pages. We had been working for almost three hours and we had finally finished the tasks for the night.
“Well Jack good job! That was a lot of work and I’m proud of you for getting it all finished”.
With a tired smile he answered, “Thank you mommy! It was a lot and I’m a little bit sleepy now”, he yawned.
I stood up from my chair, gathered all of his papers into an organized pile and put them into his school binder for class the next day. “Why don’t you head off to bed honey? You need your beauty sleep for school tomorrow”.
“Okay mommy! I’ll see you in the morning!”, he chirped. He gave me a hug and headed off to his room for the night.
Shortly after I had finished washing and cleaning our dishes from dinner, the doorbell rang. I put the pans in their designated cabinets and walked to the door, opening it. There I saw four young ladies with bright, happy smiles on their faces.
“Hello there!”, said the woman in front. “I’m Janelle. We spoke the other day about interviews for an ayi”.
Remembering our talk I smiled and welcomed them inside, “Oh yes! Hello! I’m glad you could make it”.
All five of us sat down at the kitchen table and I began to look at each of the ladies as a first inspection. Janelle had long black hair that fell to her mid back and a strong smile she held with a confident posture. Her eyes were a chocolate brown color with wrinkles along the outside that complimented her facial structure. Although she was not up for hire, she seemed like a strong motherly figure. 
        Sitting next to Janelle was a woman who I learned was named Ah Lam. She sat tall in her seat with a bright, welcoming smile that reached her large, dark brown eyes. She had a short, bob-like haircut that seemed fitting for her round face. Her features seemed soft and she gave off a comforting, nurse vibe which I took a liking to.
        Next to her sat a woman named Chun. Her facial features took a sharper tone and she sat tall, almost as if a string held her from the ceiling. She did not seem as welcoming as Janelle or Ah Lam but I had a feeling she knew exactly what she was doing. It seemed as though she had had a lot of experience working as an ayi and I trusted that she would be a good option.
        And finally sitting next to Chun was a kind-looking woman named An. She did not sit as straight and tall as the first three and she had a soft look in her eyes. She was more of a timid type but she seemed to be comforting and kind. Her chocolate brown eyes held a certain sense of calm that I recognized as a good trait for a housekeeper to have.
        After taking a moment to introduce ourselves, Janelle spoke up, “Well which do you like?”.
        I was a little caught off guard by what she said. It was like I was choosing which pet to purchase at a pet store. I realized then that these women were replaceable. If one did not suit well, another would come in to take her place. “I need a little more information to decide. I have not yet seen any of you ladies at work and I feel like I should understand more about each of you before choosing”. The ladies all smiled at each other as if I was speaking very kind words. Were ayis usually chosen on the first interview without a test first?
Janelle then said, “Of course! Why not starting next week on Monday each ayi can come to your home for the day. You can then monitor their activity and work process and see if she is a good fit for you!”.
I smiled and silently breathed out in relief, “Yes! That sounds like a great plan”. 
After a few more minutes to organize a schedule for the ladies, they all stood up from their chairs, thanked me for my time, and walked out the door. This next week seems like it will be a fun, unique learning experience for all of us.
        On Monday at eight am sharp, Ah Lam came to our home. She smiled warmly at the door as I welcomed her in. Finding Jack, she sat next to him watching him eat his toast breakfast in silence. 
        “Hello little boy”, she said to Jack. Jack however did not feel the need to respond. 
        “His name is Jack”, I offered to Ah Lam. 
        “Jack what are you having for breakfast this morning?” she tried again. However, Jack still did not reply to her words. 
Ah Lam did not approve of his silence and quickly snatched the bread from his hand. She began trying to feed him herself by pushing the bread towards his face forcefully. Jack stood up from his seat in a hurry and ran to my side.
Ah Lam mirrored him and did not give up her method. She followed him and again, tried to force the food into his mouth, “Eat your breakfast now”.
Jack continued to hold on to me and did not obey or open his mouth for his newly found force feeder.
“Bu tinghua”, she said with a tinge of anger putting the bread back on the plate. Doesn’t listen. Ah Lam headed to our front door and began putting on her shoes as if to leave our house. 
“Excuse me? Are you leaving?” I asked, very confused.
She glanced at me with a hint of annoyance in her stare, “I’d heard foreign children bu tinghua”. With that she stood up, grabbed the handle, and marched out the door.
The next day it was Chun’s turn for a try. Throughout the morning, Chun had done a wonderful job and things seemed to be moving along smoothly. I hoped she would be the right fit for Jack. Then the afternoon came along. 
It was time for Jack’s afternoon nap but he kept popping up from his crib like a small jack-in-the-box. Chun stomped over to the crib, knocked my non-sleeping child off balance, and pushed him into a lying position. “Tinghua! Listen! Lie down! Hold your head still!” She held his head against the mattress to keep him from popping up again. 
Just seconds later Jack’s arms were flailing and he was crying hysterically.
I watched in mere disbelief and sprinted to his crib, “Let him go”, I stated removing her hand from my child’s head. Jack sat up and continued to sob.
“He does not listen!”, Chun stared at me with an accusing look in her eyes. This situation seemed to be my fault!
I continued to stare her down and I replied, “I don’t think we are a good match. Please leave”.
By now it seemed everyone had heard of our situation and the word had gotten out that Jack was a disobedient terror. Still looking for a caretaker, I called Janelle and informed her that the first two ayis had not worked out and I was looking for more options. However, Janelle told me that the lady meant to visit tomorrow had canceled. She explained that she felt Jack was too young and the house was too difficult to clean. 
The accusation was very clear. To the ayis it seems I am a terrible parent. My child is a nightmare. And no matter how badly I need this job, I cannot take care of a foreign child who won’t listen.
The end result was we could not find an ayi to help us out throughout the day. This just meant that I would have to take more of my time to help Jack along the way and be there to help him through the day. This has been and will continue to be a very educational, exciting journey for our family.