"I wasn't going to do anything. Sure, Kaon is coming up with a hundred different ways to kill the lawyer before finding your dad and gutting him too, but I wasn't going to do anything," Kaz assured him quietly. He knew Vaughn wouldn't appreciate him going around killing people affiliated with his father, and he wouldn't do anything Vaughn didn't want him to
"I bet one day there'll be some kind of revolutionary technology or something and then I'll buy it for you and you'll be able to walk again. But that's probably in the future." Luka patted Axel's shoulder, eyes lit up. He likes watermelons. Is it a metaphor? Does he like me? You idiot, he just kissed you, of course he likes you.
“Believe me, I’ve fantasized about killing my dad’s associates, and even my dad at times. But killing the associates isn’t going to do anything, really. Either way he’s still going to get out of prison,” Vaughn said softly, the anxiety of that close to being overwhelming.
Kaz, finally noticing Vaughn's anxiety through his haze of anger, felt a pang of guilt work its way through his chest. "Don't worry. If he gets out, I won't let him hurt you. I promise," he said softly, wrapping an arm gently around Vaughn's waist as he tried to comfort him
Vaughn leaned against Kaz, biting a bit harder at his lower lip. “He doesn’t know where I am. I don’t think there’s any way he could even find me in the first place. He lost custody a long time ago,” he murmured. But that was obvious. A man who murdered most of his family didn’t deserve to keep the living child.
He's lying, Kaz, Kaon sneered in his mind. Mr. Finley will find you. People like that don't get out of prison and find a corner to curl up in, no, they look for the one that got away, he continued, and Kaz could feel a small headache coming on as he tried to ignore it. "We won't let him find you," he finally said, not realizing he had said 'we' instead of 'I.'
“We?” Vaughn asked with a heavy frown. Kaon. He mentioned Kaon earlier, that he was feeding Kaz ideas. “You’re not bringing him into this, not happening. Everything will be fine, he won’t be able to find me.”
"I'm not, I'm not, I promise," Kaz assured him. "He's just been obnoxious lately, but trust me he isn't getting out anytime soon." Oh, now you're lying? Real mature, Kaz, his mind groaned, and he had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. "Hey, um. You still want barbeque?" he asked, trying to change the subject before things got out of hand
Vaughn gave Kaz a cautious look, but nodded a bit as he began to put his things back into the shoe box. He now thought back to the talk they were supposed to have about Kaz’s distraction. He hadn’t wanted to ruin the mood before, but after all those questions about his dad, he wasn’t sure that it could get worse. “We still need to talk about before…”
Kaz froze slightly at the mention of it. He had half forgotten about Vaughn wanting to talk about his depression, and if he was being honest, he had hoped Vaughn had forgotten about it too. He felt a small pang of anxiety work its way through him. What was he supposed to say? "I…There's not much to talk about, really," he muttered, his mind hissing at him not to say anything more
“Talk about what there is to say,” Vaughn then suggested. He just wanted Kaz to talk. He wasn’t sure that he would even be able to help in any way, he just wanted to know what was wrong.
Kaz laid back against the bed, rubbing at his eyes behind his glasses as he sighed. "I just…There's not really any way for me to talk about it without sounding like some sad overused cliché," he began. "I mean, how many times do you hear the poor edgy teenagers on TV say they hate themselves? You hear it so much it just sort of invalidates the whole thing."
“If it makes you feel better, I barely ever watch TV, so I haven’t seen a lot of dramatized sob stories. Come on, Kaz, tell me what’s been going on,” Vaughn insisted, reaching out to gently take both of Kaz’s hands.
Thorn laughed and looked out to the moonlit parking lot. She sat on the bed next to Lana, "You got shorthanded with that. Then again I think all windows go to parking lots."
"True. Hospitals aren't exactly known for being picturesque," Lana said with a smile.
Thorn smiled back, "They really aren't. Same with hotels."
"True," Lana replied, "but sometimes hotels have a weird aesthetic charm. Like the parking lots and the balconies and the pools look nice together."
"I…I stopped taking my meds about two months ago," Kaz began, unable to help the way he tensed slightly when Vaughn took his hands. He knew it was supposed to be comforting, but he just felt…scared. "I guess it started when I caught Finn with Alex. I was going to surprise him with some flowers or whatever because I felt like it, y'know? And I went to open the door and I saw their fields through the door, and I just got…pissed. Really, really pissed," he mumbled
“And that’s when is started? When you caught him cheating?” Vaughn asked softly, rubbing the backs of Kaz’s hands with his thumbs. “And you shouldn’t be of off your meds, that certainly isn’t helping,” he added.
Thorn nodded, "Yeah, I find it kind of weird. Like anywhere else, it doesn't seem as appealing, but hotels. You love it."
"Exactly," Lana agreed. "I think it's 'cause the aesthetic is used so much in movies and songs and other media. It's almost nostalgic."
"Well I mean I've been a depressed piece of shit since my mom died, but catching him cheating definitely didn't help," Kaz mumbled. "And yeah, I know being off my meds isn't a good idea, but honestly? I couldn't afford my meds if I wanted them now." He sighed, resisting the urge to run a hand across his face nervously. "But, uh. We got into a fight a month later when Finn tried to call me and give me the 'it's not you it's me' speech. And you know what I did? I broke his nose in the grocery store the next day."
Thorn sighed in a more curious fashion, "Why do they use hotels anyway? They're are much better options."
"I guess it's because they're so universally relatable," Lana pointed out. "Mostly everyone's stayed in a hotel before. So everyone recognizes it instantly."
Thorn nodded and sighed in agreement, "I guess so. I still don't understand it, but I guess it is."
"It's especially popular with alternative pop," Lana surmised aloud, "like Halsey, Lana del Rey, Lorde, etc."
Vaughn bit at his lower lip and nodded slowly. “Again, you could have come to me for money to help you buy medication. I’m not trying to say that I want you on your meds, I’m just saying that it could help with all of this.”
"I don't…I can't just ask someone for money," Kaz mumbled. How was he supposed to explain that he used to spend money all the time on Finn, which was why it was such a sore subject for him? He knew Vaughn just wanted to help, but his medication was expensive and he didn't want anyone spending that much money on him