"WOOOoooooOAAAAAAaaaAH MoNA LISa!"
(Me and my girlfriend during gym class)

turns around holding tray with goopy piece of pizza on it
(enthusiastically)
"I just LOVE their pizza!"

"WOOOoooooOAAAAAAaaaAH MoNA LISa!"
(Me and my girlfriend during gym class)

"WOOOoooooOAAAAAAaaaAH MoNA LISa!"
(Me and my girlfriend during gym class)

I can't see it

"WOOOoooooOAAAAAAaaaAH MoNA LISa!"
(Me and my girlfriend during gym class)

I see you are a good bean

"WOOOoooooOAAAAAAaaaAH MoNA LISa!"
(Me and my girlfriend during gym class)

I can't see it

It's a sequin pillow with the Nicolas Cage Mona Lisa on it

"WOOOoooooOAAAAAAaaaAH MoNA LISa!"
(Me and my girlfriend during gym class)

I can't see it

It's a sequin pillow with the Nicolas Cage Mona Lisa on it

Oh, okie

"I swear if that bitch yells at me again I'll stab her with an eyebrow pencil"

“Want to jump off a cliff with us?” “Sure, why not?”

"Y'know, you really should get that cough checked out."
"I'm sorry, I've just got this horrible tickle in the back of my throat, but I think I can get it out. If I cough hard enough, either it'll clear up, or I'll die. At this point, I'll take either one."

"Y'know, you really should get that cough checked out."
"I'm sorry, I've just got this horrible tickle in the back of my throat, but I think I can get it out. If I cough hard enough, either it'll clear up, or I'll die. At this point, I'll take either one."

That is me currently.

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWM

the toilet's crunchy again

my friend told me that a person in her cooking class snorted pain meds.

"Listen, I've been told not to get into fights over guys, but if she lays a hand on him, I will not hesitate to strangle her with my bare hands."

"You're not going to cross country? Do you want to die?"
"Yeah, kinda!"

"This is Christmas music, not Halloween music! It doesn't go REET REET REET!"

(Thank you, lovely band teacher)

My friend- "I don't know when the middle of my life is, so I'm always having a mid-life crisis."

"Can we all just agree Celeste is a B-I-C-H-T– Wait."

Kid: Does Fortnite dance in tune with the Witch's Rap from Into the Woods

"Can we all just agree Celeste is a B-I-C-H-T– Wait."

This has the same energy as the "You are boring! B-O-R-N-I-N" vine

"Have a weekend"

Me: Hey Emma, what does a jellyfish say?

Emma: … WHAAAALLLLLEEEE

Moral of the story: If you don’t know what an animal’s sound is, scream “WHAAAALLLLEEEE” at the top of your lungs. 100% accuracy guaranteed

Moral of the story: If you don’t know what an animal’s sound is, scream “WHAAAALLLLEEEE” at the top of your lungs. 100% accuracy guaranteed

sounds like a solid plan

Teacher: "Alright, so Patton was, here, let me write it on the board—out of the way Pearl Harbor!" erases the board
Me: "That's what Japan said."
Teacher:
Class:
Me:

Teacher: "Well (laughs) you—you have a point."