(i have two today)

"Meap
You are a meap
Therefore you reproduce asexually"

(and)

"Y'all ever just pop out a baby and it starts flying
Ya just pop it like a cannon ball
boom"

Same energy:
"I can't imagine giving birth to more than one child. It's like one of those water rides where the logs keep shooting out and there's liquid everywhere and everybody's screaming."

"You can be scared about the facial hair, my husband and I were scared too."

"and then we drove to israel-"
"that's impossible!!"
"no, it was on the other side of canada."

"Lacey said she wanted my ankles."

"No butt stuff at the dinner table."

"Authentic potatoes."

“And so the legacy of twin racism goes on.”

“That was before even Obama was invented.”

“You put Mother Earth’s sprinkles in my ear!”

Everyone knows that Obama didn't exist until 2007.

Ah so you are that kind of believer. I am afraid I must disagree with you.

"Are you hungry? Come to me, I have some mutton for you."

"Or you could draw me as a snail."

"Or you could draw me as a snail."

Sounds great

"honestly, you think about frank iero more than you think about your boyfriend."

"WHAT'S OBAMA'S LAST NAME????"

"WHAT'S OBAMA'S LAST NAME????"

Classic.

"WHAT'S OBAMA'S LAST NAME????"

"Care."

"WHAT'S OBAMA'S LAST NAME????"

"Care."

wheeze

"Death is coming, death is coming. Pass me a hotdog."

I've seriously heard that joke a dozen times from my friends lmao

I've seriously heard that joke a dozen times from my friends lmao

Mine or Miri's?

I've seriously heard that joke a dozen times from my friends lmao

Mine or Miri's?

Mir's.

I've seriously heard that joke a dozen times from my friends lmao

Mine or Miri's?

Mir's.

Oh, I've heard other versions of that joke but not that one, that's a funny one.

“According to this paragraph we are somewhere between straight white girls and furries”
~two adult men